our inclinations are hidden in looks
by loudlovexx
Summary: AU : Dan and Blair run into each other at her book signing at his bookstore for the first time in seven years and subsequently find themselves meeting more regularly.
1. the book signing

Blair sat behind the desk that was set up for her in the small bookstore in Manhattan and signed all the books that slid her way on the surface. Her third book in a series about New York's elite private schools was a critical hit for a young adult book where drugs, drinking and sex were at the forefront. It was being helmed as the new Gossip Girl, whatever that was, but the fact that she had lived it made the writing that much more sincere.

She smiled briefly at the next girl in line before starting to sign her name again. "Thank you for coming," Blair said, smiling sweetly before passing the book back. As the girl walked away and another came to the table, Blair went the same motions. Her publicist and agent both agreed that half her appeal was her young age and it factor and to play it up, she was to talk to everyone in line. She was to give at least a hi but no more than a few sentences because while they wanted her to seem, to her fans, untouchable.

Taking the next book without looking up, she started to sign the B then the l and then she was interrupted by the sound of the person in front of her coughing. "Do you need a tissue?" she asked, her attitude slightly sipping up as she tried to dodge the germs she was sure were now floating about. Manhattan was only the first stop in her nationwide book tour and she couldn't be getting sick. When she looked up, she was surprised to see a familiar face as the source of the coughing.

"Humphrey."

"Waldorf," he responded, smugly smirking as he took his copy back without letting her finish the rest of her name.

"What are you doing here if you don't want my full John Hancock?" she asked, raising her perfectly manicured brows. "Give me the book back so no one who browses your snooty library in your apartment thinks a person named BR wrote this."

Dan shook his head and laughed, "I don't want your signature, Waldorf."

"Then why did you just stand in line for it?" she asked, craning her neck to look around him where a line of pre-teens and teens were waiting with their phones out to meet her. "I have a lot of people to meet before I can open the bottle of champagne the owner of this store so nicely sent me."

Dan laughed again and looked down at her, "I bet it was your favorite kind, too."

Blair rested her chin on her fist as she leaned on the table, "As a matter of fact, it was. He or she must have done their research. Now, please, move to the side so I can continue on with this torture." She dropped her voice as she muttered the last word and looked to her agent, who was standing close by, to make sure no one had heard her. Surprisingly, her agent wasn't stepping in to help get rid of the pest that was taking up her airspace. "Don't you have some garbage to pick up in your lovely area of Brooklyn?"

He squatted down to her level and cocked his head to the side, "You have no idea who owns this place, do you?"

"No, and why should I?"

"Well next time you book a signing at a former classmate's bookstore, maybe you'll do your research and gift him with his favorite kind of bourbon in return for that champagne I bought you." Dan winked as he stood up and glanced at his watch. "You have one more hour left," he said, turning to her agent who nodded. "I hope you type faster than you sign your name, Waldorf, because otherwise it must have taken you years to write these three books."

Blair sat her mouth wide open before looking at her agent. "He owns this place?"

* * *

><p>Blair wrapped her coat around her body as she gathered her things up from the book signing an hour later. Her hand was exhausted and her throat scratchy from all the talking she was forced to do, but at least she was done until next week when she would be in a new book store practically daily for a month.<p>

"Waldorf." She spun around on her heel and glared at Dan. "It was nice to see you."

Blair wrinkled her nose and decided that the comment didn't merit a response as she slung her oversized bag on to her shoulder.

"Aren't you going to at least thank me for that generous bottle of champagne? I think the price sky rocketed since the last time I purchased it."

Blair rolled her eyes and held out the bag that had the champagne in it to him. "Here. A present."

"A regift?" he asked, visibly amused.

Blair nodded, "I think it was purchased not as a gift but as a guilt session. So I will pass and buy my own on my way home. I need it after this day."

"Isn't this just the start?" Dan asked, walking towards her but avoiding taking the bag. "And the champagne is yours. It truly was a gift, you brought more business here than the last few weeks put together. Hopefully, with the holidays approaching, the season for giving and buying will just grow. But if you want to set up permanent residency in that spot and bring in all those teenagers looking for some vampire romances, please, be my guest." Dan put his hands together and gave her a slight bow.

Blair scoffed and brought her arms to her side, letting the bag with the champagne down slowly to the floor. "I didn't know you owned a book store. And especially not this book store." She put the emphasis on the this. It was her favorite bookstore in the entire city, and maybe in the world. It had cozy nooks and crannies where when she wasn't writing, she would come to and sit for an hour or two engulfed in a novel. It was her own escape corner in the busy metropolis of Manhattan. She had requested the New York signing to be here, if she could, over the Barnes and Noble her agent suggested. If she had to deal with bratty teenagers, not unlike herself at that age, then she wanted to be in a place that made her feel comfortable.

"Why not this book store?"

"I just come here a lot. I've never seen you."

Dan shrugged, "I've seen you."

"You creep," she laughed, adjusting the bag on her arm. "Since when?"

"A couple of years? Not that I got the most profits with my book, but I got some and used it, and some investors money, on this place."

"Book store investors?"

"Mostly old rich men looking for a place to play bridge while also being able to take home the latest mystery novel to their wives. I let them use the place on Sunday's when I close it for business. They're not really looking for a money return more than a life return. I'd like to think I help them with that."

"Sweet."

"Your voice sounds like you think the opposite."

"Maybe. But I do love this place. The entire atmosphere is incredible, especially the server yourself espresso machine. I don't know how you make any money."

"I make very little money," Dan confirmed. "But I live upstairs so I don't have rent on that, and I like what I do."

"Why don't you write again?" Blair asked, "Your book was pretty decent."

"Better than the crap your spurting out," Dan smirked, holding up a copy of her book that was on the nearest table.

Blair looked, and felt, offended. "Hey, it's not crap. Maybe it's not high brow, but it's not crap."

"It's not," Dan shook his head, a curl falling out of place and into his eye. "It's not crap, I mean. Sorry, that was cruel of me. It's actually not bad, for what it is. And the main characters remind me of two girls I once knew."

"As the front page will tell you, any familiarity to any real person is purely a coincidence," Blair shrugged before laughing. "I wanted to write a memoir, but my publisher said no one was going to read a socialites memoir of boozing, so I changed some names up and bam, a young adult novel with all the lacings to make parents worry. I had to get Serena, Nate and Chuck to sign off that they wouldn't sue me. I don't think they would, but my lawyers heavily advised on it."

"I thought a lot of the scenes rang familiar."

Blair smiled and lifted her shoulders slightly. "I write what I know."

"And what you know are some shitty people with their parents money to spend."

A silence fell over them as Blair tried to decide on her next move. "I should go, Dan. It was actually pretty pleasant to run into you here. I'm sure you'll be seeing me again," she nodded.

Dan walked towards her and then past her to get the door for her. "It was nice to see you, Waldorf. I'll be looking forward to the fourth book. Maybe a certain lonely boy will make an appearance."


	2. the customer

A few week later and her book tour finished, Blair found herself wandering the streets of New York appreciating the decorations in place for the Christmas holidays. She sipped on her latte before finding herself in front of her favorite bookstore. Dan's bookstore. Cursing her muscle memory, she had a brief struggle in her mind if she should go in or not. She had promised herself that she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of her business but it really was the only place in the city that she felt she could sink in to and so, as she polished off the last sip of her coffee, she opened the door and took in the familiar sent of books.

Blair walked through the aisles, not sure what she was looking for but figuring she would know when she found it. Instead she found Dan, his arm raised as he tried to put a book back in the top shelf of a book case. His shirt was pulled up and Blair couldn't help but notice the definition of his pelvis as the shirt raised higher.

"Excuse me," she started, "that is exactly the book I was looking for."

Dan looked down and smiled, "Oh really? You were looking for a encyclopedia on folklore?"

Blair nodded and then laughed, "Okay, no, but it looked like you were truly struggling trying to fit it back into that place. It looks like you are trying to fit a square peg into a circle."

Dan lowered his arm and handed her the book, "It's all yours."

"Oh great!" Blair said with fake enthusiasm that sent them both into fits of laughter. "It's previous browser decided this wasn't enough folklore for them?"

Dan shook his head, "The previous browser was using my store as a library. I had to kick him out before he copied down every last work this book had."

"Must have been here for a long time," Blair said, catching his eye.

Dan nodded, "Since I opened yesterday."

"Did he find the bookshelves a comfortable sleeping space?"

"I hear I was getting five stars on trip advisor as a place to stay until I told him he had to pay up. There goes my rating."

Blair giggled and ran her hand over the spine of the heavy book. "Well, I'm glad he didn't buy this because it will look fantastic on my coffee table. What a conversational piece. I'll frame myself as the savior and the previous browser as a low life freeloader."

"Sounds like a new series for you," Dan laughed, crossing his arms in front of him and leaning against the book shelf. "It's nice to see you again. I would say long time no see but I think the six years that passed between the last time and a couple of weeks ago takes the cake for long time no see."

Blair nodded, "Yes, I would say this is an incredibly short time no see for the two of us."

Dan reached out and for a moment Blair thought, stupidly, that he was going to take her hands. Instead, he took the book and held it up, "You know you don't have to take this."

"But I want to. It's like my gift instead of champagne. You bought me alcohol and I bought, from you, an encyclopedia. A fair trade, I would say."

"I don't think they consider gifts trading," he said, leaning his head on a shelf, "but it seems fair to me so I'll agree to it. I'll even throw any book other than this one in for free. For your troubles."

"That would put me one less than you again, Humphrey. Let me just take the encyclopedia and call it a day."

Dan shrugged before turning and starting to walk to the cash registrar where a young girl, probably early twenties, was standing. "Give her the friends and family discount when she comes back to purchase this, Trish." The girl nodded and Dan gave Blair a thumbs up before he walked to another corner of the store.

Blair was semi disappointed that the conversation was cut short, enjoying the back and forth. In fact, she might have said that that was the most she talked to a straight man in probably a year. She had been strapped down at her desk, working on the series as much as she could before going to book signings and talks and conventions. And recently, to LA, to talk about casting of a T.V. show or possibly even a movie. It was a whirlwind and left her no time for talking, or she might even argue, flirting.

She shrugged slightly before making her way through the bookshelves again and deciding on Breakfast at Tiffany's by Truman Capote, both her favorite movie and one of her favorite books. Blair walked to the corner of the store that she knew the best, one with a picture window and a ledge to perch on and got settled in. Getting a couple of dozen of pages in, she heard a gentle cough and looked up to see Dan.

"We're closing in ten minutes, Blair," he told her, frowning as he saw what she was reading. "Don't you have that book memorized?"

"Film, yes," Blair said, straightening up and standing, "Book, no." Blair held the small book in her hands and patted Dan on the arm, "Well, thank you for letting me use this space to read my favorite book. I shall be purchasing it along with that beautiful encyclopedia of folklore."

Dan nodded slightly before looking towards the register. "They're both on the house, Blair."

"No, Humphrey," she protested. "Even if you don't charge me, I will leave the exact amount on the counter and Trish, was that her name?, can either pocket it or put it in the cash register. I'm not taking more gifts."

"Not gifts, friends and family discounts."

Blair rolled her eyes, "You give away your books to friends and family? No wonder you don't make much."

"Well, I don't have much of either so I'm not taking that big of a hit. And while you were immersed in your novel, I've actually had a steady stream of customers in here. Most of them browsing but a few did a couple of big purchases. I told you a couple of weeks ago, the holidays are coming."

Blair nodded slowly, "Anyone buy my book?"

Dan smiled, "It's always about you."

She smirked and wrinkled her nose, "I just want to make sure I have money for the holidays, Humphrey. I have an addition to make to my list."

Dan covered his heart with his hands and leaned in closer to her, "Don't say that the addition is me, Waldorf. How sweet. My heart is melting."

Blair swatted at him. "Very funny. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. Anyways, I should go. I have dinner plans with Chuck."

Dan looked like he had been punched in the stomach at the sound of Chuck's name. "Still seeing that asshole?"

She shook her head to indicate no, but by the way that Dan looked at her, she wasn't sure if the message was getting across.

"No, you're not seeing him or no, he's not an asshole?" Dan asked.

Blair clarified, "No, I'm not seeing him. He is still an asshole but it's Chuck and Chuck doesn't change. We just have some business to talk about. He wants a certain storyline in my next book and I want the penthouse suite in his hotel for New Year's Eve." Blair wasn't certain but she thought Dan looked relived. "And it's not just Chuck. Well, it is for dinner, but Nate and Serena are joining us for dessert. They claim they can't get a babysitter for the entire night but I'll take what I can get with the two of them these days. Thankfully, they don't feel entitled to dictate my creative side like Chuck does. Hey, why don't you join us? You and Nate are still friends, aren't you? You were at least in their wedding."

"Which you missed," Dan pointed out, before shaking his head. "I can't. I have to get home."

"You mean, get upstairs?" Blair narrowed her eyes and searched his face for any tell that could give her hints to what he was thinking. "And yes, I did miss their wedding but for good reason. I was in France for my own father's commitment ceremony with his husband. How dare the two of them not coordinate dates, am I right?" She laughed before trying to get him to join for dinner again by insisting the night would be fun.

Dan shook his head again, "I really can't, Blair. I mean, I have to get home to Brooklyn. We have a weekly family dinner, where most of the time it's just me and my dad and Jenny Skyping in from Paris. It's meatball night, too, which is my favorite. But maybe, rain check? Only if Chuck moves from the invited list to the not invited list."

Blair nodded, "Rain check." She took out her purse and grabbed a hundred dollar bill and shoved it in to his hand, "To be honest, I don't really trust the girl up front so this is for the books. I'll be back to schedule that rain check." She turned on her heel and walked to the counter taking the Encyclopedia that she truly had no want or use for and waved one hand over her head. "Bye, Humphrey," she called.


	3. christmas eve

It was Christmas Eve when Blair made her way back to the shop, which predictably was closed. She noticed the light was on on the floor above and so she rang the bell. When it wasn't answered within a few seconds, she pressed her thumb down on the buzzer and kept it there until she heard the door unlock in front of her. She was startled to hear Humphrey's voice over the speaker, "Go in through the book store, to the back, and there's a staircase that will you lead me to your flat."

The bookstore was dark and Blair felt wrong being here after hours but she had presents to deliver, as though she was St. Nic herself. She stepped over a couple of misplaced books and found the staircase. Trying to grab hold of the railing while balancing the packages in her arms, it took her longer than she would have liked to climb the steep stairs to the apartment, where Dan was standing in the door way.

"What did you bring?" he asked, looking at her in disbelief as he held out his arms for the gifts that came tumbling from her arms to his. "And what a surprise to see you here, Blair. You know it is Christmas Eve right? The store is closed."

Blair tried to catch her breath before leaning against a wall. "Steep stairs," she commented, looking over to him.

"Yeah, it's an old building. The stairs would never be up to code now a days, but I'm grandfathered in."

Blair gave him a thumbs up, "Good to know that I'm probably going to die in your apartment." As Dan laughed, she collected herself and smoothed down her skirt. "I'm here to deliver your Christmas gifts."

"Gifts? I thought, if it was going to be anything, that it would be one gift. Singular. Now I feel completely unprepared."

"Did you get me something, Humphrey?" she asked, trying to conceal the excitement in her voice. She loved gifts, especially unexpected gifts.

Dan nodded a little sheepishly, "Just something small. Not really bought, but a gift all the same."

Blair smiled, and she met his eyes. "Well, let's get to it. I hope you have hot chocolate and alcohol. If not, I always come prepared," she said, lifting up her purse that was heaving with brown paper bags.

He held the door open to his apartment before shutting it behind them and placing the gifts next to the small tree that was in his apartment. "Do you not believe in Christmas, Dan?" she asked, circling around. "Where are the decorations? Where is the tinsel? And the lights?"

"And the mistletoe?" he joked playfully before sitting in the worn armchair in the corner. "I just haven't had time. Someone, probably Trish, told the papers that you shopped at our store and people have been rushing in and out of there like mad trying to catch you. I didn't realize you had celebrity status."

"It sells my books," she shrugged. "I gave up privacy for book sales. My agent tells me its a good thing that people want to know not only what happens in the book but what happens in my life. I didn't sign up to be an actor or famous or anything so it's kind of jarring getting stopped on the street."

"You must love all the clammy paws of teenaged girls just like you all over you."

"Yes, Dan, it's my favorite," she said, rolling her eyes. "Okay, let's get down to presents. I don't actually have anywhere to be because my mom and Cyrus went to France to celebrate with my dad, let's pause and think about how strange that is, and Nate and Serena are doing some kind of fundraising gala for their daughter's pre-preschool. So it's me and that bottle of champagne you got me and my cat. But I'm sure you have places to be."

Dan shook his head, "Actually, I don't. Lilly invited me over, as always, but since her and my dad didn't work out… it's kind of awkward to sit there with her and Chuck and pretend the three of us are some kind of family. And my dad went and met my sister in London, she's showing a collection there of her artwork currently."

"So we're both strays this Christmas Eve," Blair said slowly.

"Looks that way," he agreed. "Let me get the water running for some hot chocolate."

Blair looked like he had just personally attacked her. "Water? No, no, no. We're doing this the right way. Milk. Milk and chocolate. Lead me to your kitchen."

Once both of them had a warm mug of hot chocolate, they settled on the couches with Dan once again taking the armchair and Blair on the couch. Blair grabbed the top present from the pile and handed it to Dan. "This one is probably the worst of the three," she shrugged. "I stacked them so they got better, but I wanted you to be the first to have it."

Dan gently ripped at the paper, seeing a book underneath the paper. "What's this?" he asked, holding up a book that was written by Blair but wasn't part of her series.

"It's kind of the book about myself I wanted to write. Now that I have enough interest in my life, my publisher gave me the go ahead to write a compilation of stories. It kind of ranges from my parent's divorce to people I've loved… stupid stuff really. I had to avoid mostly everything that I put in my novels, to keep the air that those are entirely fiction, but I still had enough material for a whole book. You're in there, actually," she said, her cheeks starting to blush as Dan's fingers ran furiously though the pages. "I wrote it before we met in the book store awhile back, but it's still pretty positive. My lawyer didn't think I had to get you to sign off on it, so there's that."

"I'm in here?" Dan asked, looking dumbfounded.

Blair nodded, looking away. "Nothing major, just a few mentions and maybe one super short story. But you can look at it later. I'd rather not be here," she said. "It embarrasses me to watch people read anything I wrote. It's crap, I can feel it, but if I'm here, people have to tell me it's good."

"Blair, I'm sure it's good," Dan started and then stopped. "I'll let you know my honest opinion when I read it, I promise."

She pursed her lips and nodded. "Anyways, open the next one."

Blair watched him eagerly as he opened the package and saw, again, a book. Walden by Thoreau. "Is this a first edition?" Blair nodded and Dan shook his head. "I can't take this."

"Then sell it," she said, crossing her arms. "And pay your mortgage and keep my favorite book store open. It's not as big of a present as you want to think, it's been in my family. So it's really a regift."

Dan's jaw was open and he could barely speak. "I don't know what could be better than this, Blair. This… this is amazing."

Blair blushed again, "It's nothing."

"It's something, Blair," he said, leaning forward and kissing her forehead. "It's something incredible. I don't think I can open the last gift because I might just owe you my entire life savings after that one."

Blair laughed and went to open it herself before he pushed her hands away and finally opened the paper to reveal a crate of different bottles of bourbon. No wonder the presents were so damn heavy. Dan started to laugh and looked and her in disbelief. "You know you are crazy, and an overachiever, right?"

"I've heard," she said, looking into the crate. "I had to get someone to pick those out for me, I know nothing about that kind of alcohol. I hope they're good… and I hope they last you."

Dan nodded, holding up one of the bottles. "Oh, I'm sure they will last me." He stood, placing the bottle on the table next to his tree before grabbing a shoddily wrapped pair of presents.

"I thought you said one present," Blair argued, taking the presents that he offered her.

Dan shrugged sheepishly. "One isn't really a present per se."

Blair started to rip greedily at the paper of the first gift and saw a key buried in all of the paper. She help it up and looked at Dan quizzically. "What is this?"

"A key to the bookstore. If you ever want to go after hours or use your discount for any of the books… all of the old man backers have one and I figured someone who actually enjoys the books and not just the space should also have one."

Blair couldn't hid the joy on her face as she squealed and leaned over to hug him from her spot on the couch which really looked like she was just laying on his lap due to the space between them. "This is the greatest gift ever."

"Then I'll just take back the second one," Dan said, jokingly reaching over to the second package that lay in her lap and quickly took his hand back as she slapped it away with the key.

"No need. Wouldn't want it to go to waste." Blair ripped up the paper again, finding a first edition of a book (a common theme) sitting in her lap. His book. "You know I already have a copy," she joked, lifting it up.

Dan smirked, "It's just bound with the same cover. It's more of my private thoughts and scribbles," he said as she opened and saw not only pages from the books but both Dan and his editor's thoughts on the page.

"This is really incredible, actually. It's like giving me your diary."

"Well, it kind of was my diary," he agreed. Dan stood up, putting his mug on the coffee table and pouring himself a glass of his new bourbon. "What does it say about us that we both gifted each other our own books?"

"That we're self absorbed?" she laughed, before standing and getting her purse that was hanging on the door.

Dan looked at her, suddenly panic stricken. "Are you leaving?" he said, the words tumbling out of his mouth so quickly that it sounded like one word.

Blair looked at him like he was crazy. "Not unless you want me to. I was getting my own alcohol since I do not drink whatever that is." She held up the bottle of champagne that she had been keeping for a special occasion and this was as special as would probably come.

"No," Dan said, sitting back down on his armchair. "I was thinking us two strays could hang out for the night. I'll cash in my rain check."

"Sounds good to me," Blair nodded, settling on the couch and pulling Dan's blanket that he had draped over the side of it over her legs. "If you don't mind, I'm going to settle in with my champagne and my new book."

Dan opened Blair's book and nodded, "I'll do the same."

After a few minutes, Blair looked at him and hit his foot with her hand. "Hey, Humphrey, do you have anything to eat?


	4. new year's eve

"Happy New Years, Blair!" Nate said, briefly separating himself from Serena's arm to embrace Blair. "I can't believe Chuck actually let you take the penthouse instead of selling it to the highest bidder for the night.

Blair laughed, "I have my ways."

Serena raised her eyebrows and giggled, "I'm sure you do. Happy New Years, B!" She gave Blair a kiss on the cheek as they both walked in to the crowded suite. "The place looks amazing. Decorate it yourself?"

"Of course, S. I've had so much time to pick out all the decorations myself and hang the garland…" she laughed, before grabbing a glass of champagne from one of the waiter's she hired who were circling the room. Chuck provided the room but refused to give her a discount on the service. The money he was losing, he claimed, by giving his friend his best room in his best hotel was too much to give her anything else for free. Blair would have paid anything for the servers if it meant she didn't have to wake up to her own house trashed and then worrying about who, on New Years Day, was going to come and clean it for her as she nursed a hangover. "Chuck said he was even going to make an appearance," she said, poking her friend in the arm. "How sweet of him to dip into the lowly pool of friendship for the night, am I right?"

Nate smiled, "I think he just wants to keep up with your annual New Year's tradition. No one messes with Blair Waldorf traditions. I think we've all learned that the hard way."

Blair smirked at him, "You might just be right, Archibald. Now come in, get settled. There's champagne, obviously, wine, beer, vodka… anything you want. And if we don't have it, you are free to call room service. Just make sure you tell them it's on Bass," she laughed. "Oof, I see my editor. I need to go charm my way back in to her graces. I gave her an entire manuscript to edit before the holidays." Blair put her hands up and shrugged her shoulders, "Oops."

Blair started to walk away, overhearing the beginnings of the Archibalds conversation that they started as she left. "Blair looks different," Serena said to Nate, her voice was raised as she was trying to get Nate to hear her in the room that was buzzing with voices from every corner. "Happier?"

She smiled to herself as she walked away. She had a secret and she never kept secrets from Serena. At least not for as long as the week it had been since she woke up on Humphrey's couch. Nothing had happened, but still, Serena didn't know Blair was talking to Dan, let alone waking up on his couch and it made Blair just vibrate with joy. She loved secrets, even if she was generally awful at keeping them. It would be ruined tonight, anyways, as she had made Dan promise that he would at least stop by for a drink before he retired to his cave of books.

Blair glanced down at her watch, it was just 11. The party was just beginning and Dan had 59 minutes to get there before she would consider the promise broken. Blair took a deep breath and tapped on the lady in front of her shoulders, her editor. "Greta! I'm so glad you could make it," she said, her voice an octave higher than normal. She leaned in to give the slightly older woman kisses on both her cheeks. "You look absolutely fabulous. How were your holidays?"

Greta licked her thin lips before responding, "Oh, wonderful, Blair. I had one of the many people I edit for hand in her manuscript just minutes before deadlines and I've been rushing to get through it. My poor son asked me why Santa hadn't come on the 25th. I was so engrossed that I completely forgot the date."

Blair put her hand on Greta's arm and smiled as sweetly as she could manage, "That woman must be a real bitch to do that to you."

"Yes, but at least she can write," Greta replied, smiling and then winking at Blair. "It's fine, anyways. It was a good life lesson for my son. Life is full of disappointments, start learning how to deal."

Blair laughed, "Yes, well, I hope he at least got the present I sent him on time."

Greta nodded and Blair excused herself. It wasn't for tradition, and as Nate said you can't break a Blair Waldorf tradition, Blair thought she would have cancelled this party. She wasn't up for the fake schmoozing that it took when half of the room were people she worked with, a quarter of the room were acquaintances that she felt forced to invite and a quarter of the room were her actual friends. Maybe next year she would trim down the list to just the last quarter.

Blair scanned the room as she grabbed another flute of champagne. No sign of Dan… or Chuck for that matter. She clucked her tongue before settling on the window seat that looked over Central Park. This was the best view in New York that she could get her hands on and if she had to be stuffed in the room with people, at least she could see the city she loved.

"Blair," Chucks voice interrupted her thoughts and she wondered if she zoned out as she checked her watch and it now read 11:29.

Blair stood, sipping on the luke warm champagne and making a face. "Chuck, so nice of you to join us," she said, leaning in to him and kissing his cheek. "How does this rank on the scale of all the parties you have attended before this one? I hope you are here until at least the clock strikes midnight."

Chuck nodded, "This is my last party and obviously, that makes it the best." Chuck raised his hand and a server came over. He took a flute for himself and handed a fresh one to Blair. They clinked glasses and both of them then sat on the window seat. "You know I wouldn't miss this for anything."

She nodded, sipping her drink. "You know I would kill you if you did. It's tradition."

"Even though you hate the tradition."

"I never said that," she argued.

"Blair, I've been here for 20 minutes and for the last 10, I just watched you look out that damn window. You know, traditions are meant to be broken. You could always not throw this party next year and let me rent out the hotel to paying guests."

"Of course that's what it comes down to, money. It's always money with you, Chuck."

"Not always. But you aren't being your social scheming butterfly self."

Blair rested her head against his shoulder, "I don't know. I just don't feel like dealing with the bullshit people spew at me right now. Maybe in the new year."Blair felt his shoulders rise and fall with laughter. "My New Years Resolution… be a better host for the rest of the party."

"And mine is to drink as much as I can and get plastered."

"I could also go for that one," Blair said, taking the rest of the champagne down in one gulp. "Waiter," she called.

"Here, here!" Chuck said, laughing.

11:55

"I think we drank half of the champagne I bought in the last 20 minutes, Chuck," Blair said, bursting into a fit of giggles as she looked at the glasses surrounding them. The waiters had tried to take them when they came to give the pair of them new drinks but Blair and Chuck had wanted an accurate counting of how many flutes they could down before midnight. "One, two, three-"

"I don't think it's a good idea to count them after all," Chuck said, his eyes slightly glazed over. He glanced down at her watch, "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it's show time."

Blair nodded, "By golly," she said laughing, "I do declare you are right."

Chuck hit the flute with his finger as he could find no silverware in sight. The flute obviously made no sound so he climbed on top of the seat and cleared his throat. "Attention guests of Miss. Blair Waldorf. It is four minutes to midnight and I promise I'll be quick so you can make out with the closest available partner. If no one is closest, come find me. I'll help you out."

The room laugh and Blair rolled her eyes. In the corner of her eye, she saw the door to the suite open and a familiar mop of brown hair enter. Her heart started to pound. "Chuck, I don't think this is a good idea after all," she stage whispered, trying to get his attention. His attention, however, was solely focused on his audience now.

"I would like to, however, before I offer myself up, ask a question to our lovely host. Blair Waldorf," he said, climbing down and standing in front of her. He got to his knee and those who had not previously attended a Waldorf New Year's gasped. "Will you do the honor of being my wife?"

This was the part where Blair normally laughed and accepted and they kissed just as the clock struck midnight. It was tradition. However, as her eyes gazed the room and she saw the mop of brown hair leave as fast as it entered, she realized Chuck was right. Traditions could change. "No," she answered, quickly. "Although, please find a guest who will as that ring will go wasted if it's not placed on someones finger tonight." Blair stood and started to make her way through the crowd.

"Well, then," Chuck said, looking down at the RingPop in his hand. "Who wants it?"

Blair felt a hand on her arm and she swung around to see Serena.

"Did you see Dan?" they both asked and Serena looked taken aback.

"Did you invite Dan Humphrey, Blair?" she asked, her mouth slightly agape.

"Yes, and did you see him? Did he leave?"

"Yeah, he left right as Chuck was getting on his knee. I don't think he stayed longer than a minute."

"Fuck," Blair swore, tearing her arm from Serena's grasp. "Look, I'll explain later… I just… I need to go."

Blair slammed the key she was holding around her wrist into the elevator and pressed the button to go down. The doors miraculously (or not so much as she was the only guest using the elevator) opened and she hit the button to go to ground level. Blair felt her dress for some pocket that she might have put her phone in, knowing that there was in fact no pockets. "Oh fuck," she said, impatiently staring at the doors to open as the elevator shot down the shaft.

When the doors did open, Blair thanked the Lord that Dan's elevator had been slower as she could see him making his way to the hotel's doors.

"Dan!" she called, picking up her dress and walking as fast as she could through the crowded lobby. "Dan!" She was getting no response besides that of strangers looking at her as though she was a crazy drunk. Drunk, yes. Crazy… yes, that too. But not at the moment. "Humphrey!" she finally shouted and he turned.

Dan looked equal parts confused and pissed as he stopped in place and Blair finally caught up with him.

"Congratulations on your engagement, Blair," he practically spit the words out at her. "I'm very happy for you and Chuck. Excuse me if it doesn't exactly show on my face."

"It's fake, Dan," she pleaded. "It's just a thing we do. Every New Years. It's not… it's not real."

Dan glanced down at her hand as to confirm that she was telling the truth. She figured the fact that she just took and elevator down to come see him after supposedly getting proposed to should have been the answer.

"Its fake?" he said, his voice wavering on sounding like he believed her. He, at least, sounded hopeful.

"Yes, it's just this stupid tradition we found ourselves doing. The first time was real, a few years ago. But I said no. Ever since then, he's been doing it every New Year's and I say yes. Well, except for tonight where I once again rejected him. To come down here and tell you that it's fake. It's just stupid."

They were interrupted by the loud crowd in the lobby starting to countdown.

Ten… Nine… Eight…

"It's fake?" he asked again and she nodded in response. Her eyes begging his to believe her.

Four… Three… Two

Blair grabbed his shirt and pulled him to her.

One

As Blair closed her eyes and waited for him to kiss her, what she got was instead a kiss on the forehead. "Happy New Year's, Blair," Dan said softly into her ear and started to walk away from her,

"Humphrey, what was that?" she called after him, utterly confused at how this night was turning out. He stormed off like a jealous boyfriend and then kissed her on the forehead?

"I don't know," he said, walking backwards and throwing his hands up. "I guess we'll see in the Ne w Year."


	5. valentine's day - part one

This was mortifying, Blair thought to herself as she let Serena string necklace after necklace on her neck trying to pick which one matched Blair's dress the best. She felt as though she was 12 again, playing dress up with her best friend. Instead, she was a grown woman who was about to embark on a blind date on Valentine's Day. How pathetic. How very not Blair Waldorf-esque. "Serena, the first one looked fine," Blair said, turning around in her chair to see Serena had another five necklaces for her to try on. "I don't even need a necklace. God knows that the probability of me hating whoever you and Nate handpicked for this awful experience is high, so why are even trying with this charade?"

Serena laughed, "Oh, I don't know Blair. I think Nate and I know you quite well by now to pick out someone that you might dislike but won't hate." She handed Blair a necklace, "Wear that one. I was going to wear it but I have no one to impress. Nate already loves me."

Blair rolled her eyes, turning back to the mirror and fastening the jewelry around her neck. It did seem to match her dress quite well, she thought, and if she was going to have an awful time then she might as well look her best. "Who is this guy anyways, Serena?" she asked for the fiftieth time. Serena pretended to zip her lips and throw away the key as she sat on her and Nate's bed to put her shoes on. "Nate and I promised we wouldn't tell you. We don't want you to Google him and have some preconceived notion of who he is by how much he makes and what he does. We want you to go in blind. I really think you'll like him, B. Nate and I, both, think very highly of him and that should say enough."

Blair sighed, "S, if you don't tell me, then I won't go."

"Then we'll bring him to wherever you are," Serena teased before standing and checking her phone. She had been checking her phone every five minutes since Blair had arrived an hour before to see if Nate was ready with the mystery man. Judging from the look on her face, Blair guessed that he wasn't.

Blair bit her lip before looking at Serena again, "Tell me why exactly I need a blind date? I've spent the past few Valentine's Days all by myself and you've never stepped in before. I'm quite happy being alone. There's not one person that I like more than I like myself."

Serena laughed and a piece of her hair fell from her messy ponytail into her face. Brushing it off and behind her ear, she sat again on the bed. "I know there's not, B, but Nate and I both had an amazing idea about who we think you would be great with. We just want you to be happy and we think you would be slightly," Serena held up her hand and left a little room between the index finger and the thumb to show her point, "happier with someone. Just slightly."

"And when, exactly, did you have this brilliant idea?" Blair asked. "Like the exact date."

Serena shrugged, "Sometime around New Year's I think." She rolled her eyes up dramatically as she pretended to think hard about Blair's question. "Yes, around New Year's."

Blair squinted at her, "Funny timing."

Before Serena could respond, her phone vibrated and she leapt off the bed to read the incoming message.

"S, why around New Year's? Tell me that you didn't get crazy ideas about me and Humphrey. I explained to you that it was nothing. It was a pity invitation from having my signing at his bookstore, which by the way, you never even told me he owned. You know I go there all the time." Blair paused, "Well, I used to go there all the time."

She hadn't seen Dan since New Year's Eve and she wasn't going to do fate's job by showing up at Dan's place of business. Dan, for his side, hadn't seem to want to get in touch with her, which stung just slightly. She got no phone calls (he could have easily asked Nate or Serena for her number), no apology flowers (for making her look like an idiot puckering up and then kissing her forehead), or anything else of that matter that would suggest friendship. So whatever had been brewing between them, it was done. Done and finished. Blair nodded to herself before snapping back into the moment.

Serena was giving her a weird look when Blair looked up at her again. "Where did you go right then, B? It reminds me of New Year's where you literally stared out a window for twenty minutes. Something is funny with you." Blair responded by crossing her arms in front of her. "Anyways, no… it wasn't a crazy idea about you and Humphrey," she conceded. "It was just around the time we were making resolutions and one was to make our friends lives happier." Serena looked down at her phone, "Nate said he and the mystery guy are waiting at the restaurant." Blair stood by and walked by her, pausing to open the door to the bedroom and Serena took the moment to put her hands on Blair's shoulders and slightly shake her. "Be excited, B."

* * *

><p>"I thought you said you didn't have any crazy ideas about me and Humphrey," Blair angrily whispered to Serena as she saw who was sitting next to Nate at the table they were walking to.<p>

Serena smiled and turned to her, "Crazy was the key word, Blair. It's not a crazy idea. It's a great idea."

Dan and Nate stood as Blair and Serena approached the table and Blair bit her lip, trying to avoid Dan's eyes. She couldn't tell if he was equally surprised by her appearance but she thought Nate a better friend than Serena at times so he probably came prepared.

Nate leaned into give Blair a kiss on her cheek, brushing his lips against Blair's ears as he whispered, "Play nice, Blair." Blair could have punched him had they not been in one of her favorite dinner spots in the city.

Dan, who had finished greeting Serena, nodded in Blair's direction before pulling out her chair for her. Blair swatted his hands away, grabbing the chair herself. "I can do that myself, Humphrey," she said cooly.

Dan pulled his hands up and sat down. Serena sat as well, looking at Nate with a smug smile on her face. Not even two seconds later, her phone started buzzing. Serena looked at the message, showing Nate, and then they both stood.

"Where are you going?" Blair said, anger seeping into her voice.

"Emergency with Ava," Serena said, referencing her and Nate's daughter. "My mom just text me, said we're needed back."

Nate shrugged, not looking worried or apologetic at all. If looks could kill, Blair would have murdered them both with the glance she gave them. "Damn kids," Nate said, laughing slightly before Serena elbowed him. "Try to have a good time," he told them both. Serena squeezed Blair's shoulder as she was leaving and Nate winked at her. Blair should have known the moment they wanted to have a double date on Valentine's Day that something was up.

"They didn't even try to hide how rehearsed this whole thing was," Dan noted, taking a sip from his glass of water. "Look," Dan said, turning his body to face hers. "We can call this off. It was stupid."

"Why is it stupid?" Blair said. "Is being on a date with me lowering your credibility in Brooklyn?"

Dan rubbed his temples, "No, Blair. That's not it."

"Then why? Why is being on a date with me stupid?"

"It's not that part that's stupid. It's the fact that they clearly tricked you into being here."

"They didn't trick you?" she asked, leaning in to show interest. She was under the assumption that they both had been tricked into the blind date. It made it much more interesting if it was only hear.

Dan shook his head, "Uh, no. I knew. I actually asked Nate if he thought it was a good idea. I didn't realize that to get you to agree, Serena had to hold back my identity. Nate told me before you got here that it was a surprise for you, I'm not sure if it was a good one." Blair raised her shoulders up nonchalantly in response. "I just, I felt like an idiot after New Year's Eve. I was trying to act all Ricco Suave cool with that stupid move at midnight. I think I was shell shocked from seeing that proposal, even if it was fake… which, by the way, Serena confirmed that it was an actual tradition. Kind of a strange one, in my opinion, but I digress. It was a very ill thought out move that I deeply regret."

Blair nodded and before either of them could speak, their waiter appeared. "Champagne?"

Dan looked at Blair to respond, trying to gauge if she still wanted to be there.

Blair smiled at the waiter, glancing at Dan briefly who had started to wring the napkin in his hands, "Yes, that's exactly what we need. Thank you."

She turned to Dan, who smiled warmly at her, "I wouldn't want this reservation to go to waste."


	6. valentine's day - part two

"So, Humphrey," Blair said, "what should we toast to? Good health? Large fortunes?" She raised her champagne glass, tapping it with her nail, "Friendship? Valentine's Day?"

"Old friends and new beginnings," Dan said, his words slightly slurred as he leaned towards her.

Blair clinked her glass against his. "How about, to a new chapter in my memoir? Or inspiration for your next book? Or to devious friends?"

Dan clinked his glass to hers, "All of the above."

They were both flushed in the cheeks from the champagne and from the company. They had been lightly flirting all night but Blair couldn't read the meaning of it. She meant it, she thought at least, friendly and maybe slightly suggestively. Dan, however, could just be mimicking her style. Although, he did ask Serena and Nate for helping setting this up and Blair figured that had to mean something.

"To a great Valentine's Day friendship date," Blair said, leaning her glass to his and noted his hesitation.

"Friendship date?" he raised his eyebrows, finally hitting her glass with his.

Blair pursed her lips before taking a sip and pressing her finger into his forehead. "You did say to old friends," she said, poking him with every fresh word.

"Ow." Dan rubbed the spot where she had poked with his hand before looking at her, "Well, what should I have said? To one time daters who both went back to their high school sweethearts by the end and new beginnings? To… two stubborn people who intellectually stimulate each other and new beginnings?" He lowered his voice, "To making some new times in elevators, Brooklyn, a loft…"

Blair blushed, "Stop that. That's just indecent."

Dan rolled his shoulders back before filling up their glasses with the remains of the bottle that was on the table. "So, what would you have liked me to say, Blair?"

Blair thought about it for a minute, tapping her fork to her lip as she thought. "To the start of something new that is hopefully not doomed to fail."

"That seems very optimistic," Dan laughed, leaning back in his chair. His knee grazed hers under the table and neither of them seemed in a rush to move either of their legs. "How about just to new beginnings? Simple and easy." He wiped his hands together and held them up to signal he was done. "I drop my mic."

"To new beginnings," she repeated. "I can go for that, Humphrey. To new beginnings and better endings."

"Perfect," Dan said, hitting his glass for a final time against hers. "So, tell me, Blair, who did you think they were setting you up with?"

Blair bit her bottom lip, "Someone Nate works with. Someone who wears a suit to work Monday through Friday and who's annual salary puts him in the 1%. I would think that Nate and Serena would know that I wouldn't want any social climber or anyone who would use me for my money or status."

"And, yet, you got me. I own one suit and my annual salary puts me solidly in the 99%."

"Then you must leave," Blair said, pointing to the door. "Unacceptable."

Dan made the motion to push his chair back before shaking his head and staying where he was. "That sounds like a terrible date for Valentine's Day."

"Yeah, well, I don't trust them generally with setting me up and that's probably why. They think I want what they have when really I mostly want to get sick in their presence."

Dan nodded enthusiastically, "I know what you mean! I get that they are in love and that is just great but do I really have to hear about it in every other word?"

Blair laughed, "You should have heard her earlier. Nate and I think this, Nate and I blah blah blah. I get it, Serena. You won, you're married and happy. I get it."

"I don't know, Blair. I think we might be the ones winning."

"Yeah but they have a built in excuse to get out of everything now and how I would kill for that."

"I get that. Who's going to say no, you can't go home to your sick child? Only heartless people." Dan poked at her thigh gently, "I'm surprised that you let them leave tonight."

"Like you said, only heartless people would stop them from leaving and I am not heartless. More like the Grinch, my heart is a few sizes too small."

"Maybe it's just picky."

"Picky has such a negative connotation," Blair said, letting her finger trace the top of her champagne flute. "It just has high standards on what it should let in. The less things it lets in, the higher the chances of not being disappointed."

Dan nodded, "Do I pass the test?"

"Too soon to tell," she shrugged before laughing. "Seriously, Dan, how long have we been here?"

Dan looked around, seeing the dining room had been slowly emptying and now they were one of the last people in the room. "Long enough to warrant another bottle of champagne?"

Blair shook her head, "If I drink anymore, I don't think I'm going to be able to stand. This was fun though. It was a good Valentine's Day."

"It was a good date," Dan said, his voice wavering on the last word.

"A good date," she repeated, nodding her head. Dan reached over and squeezed her knee slightly and Blair smiled at him. "I think we're doing things backwards. You gave me the key to your place, then we had our first fight, and now we're going on our first date. I think it usually goes the other way. Date, fight, key."

"I think I like it this way. It's unexpected."

"I'm a fan of plans and traditions," Blair argued. "This, this is throwing me off my kilter. Especially the surprise aspect of the date. What would you have done if I left?"

Dan had let his hand move from her knee to her thigh and he was making circles with his fingers over the fabric of her dress. "Been alone and sad on Valentine's Day."

Blair covered his hand with hers and they sat there quietly for a minute. "I'm glad I stayed," she said, finally.

"I'm glad you did as well."

The waiter passed their table, and Blair raised her hand. "Can we get the check, please?" The waiter shook his head and Blair raised her voice slightly, "The check? So we can leave?"

"I'm sorry, Miss. The Archibald's picked up your tab tonight on their way out." The waiter bowed slightly before leaving the area and Blair and Dan looked at each other.

"Those bastards, now it looks like I can't even pay for my own date," Dan said, rolling his head back. "I promise that wasn't part of the plan."

"Who cares? Serves them right for the secrecy. I'm going to tell Serena I left seconds after she did. I think it's more fun that way."

"Of course you do," Dan replied, grinning. "I guess I can play up a heartbroken, left at the table lonely boy persona."

"It would serve you best if you did," Blair nodded. She glanced at her watched, "I should be going."

"You don't want to get a drink?"

Blair smiled, "Not tonight, Humphrey." She stood and leaned over, kissing his forehead. "Goodbye, Dan."

Blair was grinning to herself before she heard her last name being called. "Yes?"

"What was that?"

"Oh, I don't know. I guess we'll see in the new year."

Blair could hear an audible groan coming from the table and she started to giggle. Two could play at the hard to get, forehead kissing game, and Blair was determined to win at any game they were playing.


	7. the phone call

"Yes," Blair said, answering her phone in a singsongy voice. "Blair Waldorf speaking."

"I know you're speaking," came the response. Humphrey. "I did dial your number."

"Who gave you my number?" Blair asked, spinning around in her desk chair. "Nate or Serena?"

"Both, actually. I take it that they didn't buy the fact you left after they did?"

"No. Something about their credit card bill showing a very expensive meal. It was worth the try."

"Nate called me the next day," Dan told her and she tried to imagine where he was. She closed her eyes trying to listen for background noise and heard none. Maybe he was in his apartment? In that worn armchair that he barely left on Christmas Eve. Or maybe he was in the bookstore, no customers around to bother him. "Blair, did you hear me?"

Blair snapped back into reality, she really was zoning out a lot recently, "Sorry, can you repeat?"

"I was just saying that Nate asked me how the date went. I was wondering if Serena grilled you equally."

"Yes, it was very amusing. It was all, what did you order? What did you have to drink? How was the waitstaff? What should I tell them to take as a tip?"

"Funny," Dan replied, "Nate asked me all those same questions."

"Yes, they are both very practical that way," Blair laughed. "No, Serena asked me all the normal questions after shoving her friend in the line of a firing squad."

"I'm the firing squad?"

"Yes, of course. Don't you think?"

"I would say that I was more like bait and you were a shark."

"I am not a shark, Humphrey. More like an innocent dolphin."

"Did you know dolphin's have this sonic radar thing that can tell them where to attack on a shark? Not so innocent," Dan countered. "But, fine. You can be a dolphin. I'm still the bait."

"You were not the bait. I was the bait," she argued, moving from her office to her living room and draping herself on the couch. "And Serena and Nate were the cruel fisherman throwing me out to sea."

"And then what?"

"An attractive fish just happened to be waiting there. The fish, of course, in cahoots with the fishermen."

"An attractive fish, huh? Can fish be attractive?"

"They can certainly be unattractive."

"Well, then, I'm glad I am of the attractive variety."

Blair laughed, "This is a metaphor, Humphrey. I didn't say you were attractive."

"So, you don't find me attractive, Blair?" Dan countered.

"Anyways," she changed the subject, ignoring the flash of warmth running through her body. "Serena was very glad I did not run from the date, however I told her it was the last one."

"Last date?" Dan said, suddenly sounding alarmed.

"Last blind date," she answered.

"Good," he replied. "What are you doing tonight, Waldorf?"

"I have plans," Blair lied easily. She couldn't come off as too available, she thought, especially since he knew she was available enough to be free on Valentine's Day.

"Yeah, well, good… me too."

"Really?"

"No," he confessed. "What about tomorrow night?"

"You are so eager," she laughed. "How about I call you later in the week? I might actually swing by the bookstore sometime during the week as I need a new something to read and I have yet to have the pleasure of using my key afterhours."

"Well, knock on my door if you come by."

"I will," Blair told him. "I should go. It was nice speaking to you."

"You too, Blair. I'm looking forward to seeing… or hearing from you this week."

Blair clicked the End Call button on her phone and sighed, pressing the phone against her chest. Even though she was flushed with a certain happiness, Blair wasn't sure she was ready to be vulnerable or if she was ready for a round two of whatever they had.

* * *

><p>Blair held the little girl to her chest, snuggling with her goddaughter as Serena fluttered around her. "Serena, why am I here? Am I being your babysitter for the night and I just don't know it?" Blair held Ava away from her and started talking in a baby voice, "Not that I mind one bit, Ava. Not one bit. You are the cutest little thing I've ever seen."<p>

"Just for the moment. I wanted to see you before Nate and I went to Paris for a week," Serena said, grabbing a shirt from her closet and holding it to her before tossing it on the ground. "And I wanted to talk to you about Dan."

"About Dan?" Blair asked, raising her eyebrows before tapping Ava on the nose. "Your mommy is crazy, did you know that? Did you know your mom is off her rockery?"

"Come on, Blair," Serena sighed heavily, emerging from her closet with a stack of clothing. "Dan told Nate that you had tentative plans for last week and he hasn't heard from you since then. You told me you had an amazing time on that date."

"I said I had a good time," Blair corrected her, sitting on the bed and lifting Ava up. "Your mom is crazy and hears things."

"Stop using my daughter as a distraction," Serena said sharply. "I wouldn't have helped Dan with his Valentine's Day date plan if I thought you were going to run from whatever the two of you are starting."

"We're not starting anything," Blair said, protesting. The little girl in her arms started to giggle as Blair made a face. "I just don't think it will work."

"Why?" Serena questioned, shoving the last bit of her closet that she could into her suitcase. "We need to move to Ava's room. I need to pack her stuff."

"You should just buy her a whole new wardrobe in Paris. She'd be the chicest baby on the Upper East Side," Blair said, standing and following Serena into the baby's room and taking a seat in the rocking chair. "Why are you so zoned in on this Dan thing? Is your married life getting boring?"

Serena laughed, "Stop trying to change the subject. My marriage is fine. I just don't know why you are pushing Dan away after he went through all that trouble for that date."

"So I should automatically fall for him because of that?" Blair said, rocking the chair and holding Ava to her chest.

"You are being so stubborn, Blair. Just tell me what it is or at least tell Dan what it is so he doesn't sit around waiting for your call. I have a couple of friends who think he is very attractive and wouldn't mind a date with him. Should I set them up with him?"

"Yes," Blair said before taking a sharp breath in. "No, I don't know. I don't know, Serena. I just feel… ugh, butterflies in my stomach around him. I hate it."

Serena stopped fussing around and turned to her best friend, "So, you're afraid."

Blair shook her head and then bit her bottom lip. "Maybe. I don't like this… vulnerability shit. I felt like absolute shit after New Year's. I don't like giving someone that power."

The blonde walked over to her, crouching down next to her, "Hey, that's a legitimate fear. But you know he regrets that and probably would never do anything so stupid like that again. You can't just lock yourself up because you're afraid to be hurt. And you know Dan, he's a decent guy. He won't hurt you, and if he does I'll kill him."

Blair laughed, shaking her head. "Fine, I'll call him."

"Yay," Serena practically squealed. "How great would it be if you two got married and have kids for Ava to play with?"

"Woah, woah," Blair said, putting her hand up. "Stop that. I said I would call him."

Serena smiled, before reaching down to take her daughter who was now asleep. "See, Blair, you'll be a wonderful mom."

"You're going to make me sick, Serena, and you're going to make me choose to not call him."

* * *

><p>In the end, Blair didn't call him. She did one better and showed up on his doorstep with a bottle of wine.<p> 


	8. the unexpected visit

"Blair?" Dan said, his brows raised as he opened the door. "This is a surprise."

"Yes," she agreed, "a surprise to us both. I was out getting wine, for myself, and I thought that I needed a new book. Blair held up the novel she was holding in her other hand, "And then I decided that maybe you would like some wine… or some company?" Blair stood on her tip toes to look into his apartment to see if he already had some, company not wine. "If you're free?"

Dan opened his door to show her his empty apartment but didn't stand out of her way to let her in. "What are you doing here, Blair? I haven't heard from you in a couple of weeks."

Blair licked her lips and nodded, "Yes, about that… I got busy?" she said, unconvincingly. "I don't know. I just… I went into self preservation mode, I think."

"What do you mean?" he asked, crossing his arms and leaning against the doorframe. "Preservation from what?"

"Humphrey," she said, slightly whining. "Can't we have this heart to heart after a few glasses?"

"No."

"Then I will see myself out," Blair said, turning around before feeling his fingers take hers and pull her back. Her back was against the door frame and Dan was pressed against her. "I thought I couldn't come in until I spilt my heart out."

"You aren't in yet," Dan said, playfully kicking her foot so it was still in the hallway. "What are you doing here, Blair? What do you want?"

His ears were pressed against her ear and Blair bit her lip as they brushed her skin. "I don't know, Humphrey. Just let me in."

"No," he responded, running his hands down her side and letting them settle on her hips. Blair covered his hands with hers. "What do you want, Blair?"

Blair's body was tense both from the confrontation and from his fingers digging gently into her skin under her shirt. "Why do you get to play detective when I didn't give you an inquisition after New Year's?"

Dan slowly pulled away from her, placing his index finger under Blair's chin and lifting her face slightly. "It's not an inquisition, Blair. I just want to know what you're doing here after giving me the silent treatment after our pretty decent date, in my opinion, and then our pretty decent phone conversation. Am I going to feel like a cheap bastard if I let you in and then you play Houdini again and disappear?"

"I personally prefer David Copperfield," Blair countered. "I won't disappear again, Humphrey." She held up a peace sign, "Scouts honor."

Dan started laughing, "What is that?"

"Scouts honor? Like the boy scouts?"

"That is a peace sign."

"Can't it be both?" she protested.

"It can be, but it's not. This is Scouts Honor," he said, holding up three fingers.

"Were you a boy scout, Humphrey?"

Dan shook his head, stepping away from her, "You are so stubborn, Blair."

"I know, people say it's my greatest asset."

"I don't think I'm one of those people," he said, shrugging as he leaned against the opposite side of the door frame. "What do you want from me, Blair? Just let me know so I can either continue thinking that we are on the path to a relationship or cease my efforts."

Blair shrugged, "Is there no middle man of friendship?"

"No, it's a fork in the road. Two options. I can't be friends with you," he admitted, "It's too complicated. At least not right now, not when this has already crossed the barrier from friendship to whatever we're toying with."

Blair averted her eyes and looked down at her feet, "This is tough on me, Humphrey."

"I can see that," he agreed. "I want to date you, Blair. I don't know if I can make it any more obvious at this point. I would like to see what this is. I am putting myself out there and saying that I, Dan Humphrey, would like to date you, Blair Waldorf. So what do you want?"

Blair shrugged, "That."

"What's that?"

He wasn't letting her take the easy way out and Blair could reach across the small space between them and shake him. "I, Blair Waldorf, would agree to date you, Dan Humphrey."

"You make it sound like a business transaction," he said sighing before entering his apartment. "But, I'll take it."

Blair smiled, swinging the bottle next to her as she walked in. "Isn't it a business transaction? Trading hearts instead of money?"

Dan shook his head, "That is the least sexy thing I've ever heard." He sat on the couch, Blair noted, instead of his comfort spot of the arm chair. Blair took a seat next to him and put the wine bottle on the coffee table. "It's more like religion. People fight and die for it and suffer for it."

"See, I don't want that part. I don't want the fighting and the dying and the suffering. I want to look at someone and say, here's my heart and I'll take your heart. We'll wipe our hands clean of the messiness and be happy with our new acquisitions."

"That doesn't sound like the Blair Waldorf I knew."

"Yeah, well, I just am too old to be throwing myself into the fray of being hurt," she countered, tapping his knee with her hand. "Let's change the subject… love is too dark of a topic. I learned that you aren't supposed to talk about three things in polite conversation… politics, religion and love."

Dan shrugged, "Do you want me to open that bottle for you?" He stood taking it into the kitchen without her responded and came back with two glasses full of the red liquid.

"I don't recall saying you could have some," she laughed and took the glass from him. "That was my own personal bottle."

Dan balanced his glass, as he sat back down next to her and let his arm settle across Blair's shoulders, "Yeah, well… you brought it into my apartment and therefore it is mine. It is nice of me to even give you a glass."

"Why, thank you. How kind of a gesture," Blair laughed, sipping on her wine. "I didn't mean it before. I didn't really mean that I want love to be like a business transaction."

Dan shushed her, "I thought we don't talk about that subject in polite company." His fingers danced along her shoulders and she pushed herself into him, resting her head against his chest. Dan leaned over to put his glass on the table and then took Blair's from her hand and placed it on the table.

Blair sat up, "Hey, I was drinking that."

He shrugged, placing his hands on the side of her face and leaning in so their noses were touching. Blair could feel her heart against her chest. "It will still be there in a minute," he told her before kissing her.

Blair moved herself closer to him, leaning into his body and placing her hands on his chest, grabbing at the fabric of his white t-shirt.

Maybe, she thought to herself, she could let herself be happy this one time. Maybe she could put off the self destruction and let herself appreciate the good things.

Maybe.


	9. dan's birthday

"Blair, why are you so nervous?" Serena asked as Blair circled around her for the seventh time that day as she tried to decide where she should put decorations. "Dan's not going to be upset if there is a streamer out of place." Blair shot her a look and Serena held up her hands, "Okay, never mind. I'm sure he would care a lot if a streamer was out of place. It's just a dinner, Blair, you should relax."

Blair sat down next to Serena and let out a deep breath. "It's the first time that I'm his girlfriend for his birthday, Serena. I need to make it perfect."

"It's a dinner with Nate and I, it's already perfect," Serena said and smiled at Blair. "Dan told you not to fuss."

"That's what you say when you want people to fuss. Everyone knows that."

"No, that's what you," Serena relied, emphasizing the you, "say when you want people to fuss."

"I only have a few hours left until Dan gets here," Blair said, glancing up at her clock. "I haven't even picked up the cake."

"I'll get the cake on my way here," Serena told her, patting her leg before standing up. "I should go get ready and get Nate. Do you want me to get anything else?"

"No, it's hopeless," Blair said, putting her head on the table. "I'm just going to call it off. No birthday dinner, no birthday."

Serena rubbed her back as she would if Ava was crying. "Blair, you are freaking out over nothing. Nate and I will be over at 6 PM like requested, with the birthday cake. Go take a bath or something. Relax. Dan doesn't even know your throwing this for him, so it's fine. There's no pressure on you besides the pressure your putting on yourself."

Blair nodded, her cheek pressed against the table. "Okay, see you tonight."

* * *

><p>Blair sat on a chair, tapping her foot lightly on the ground. Nate and Serena looked at her, both trying not to say anything. Dan was supposed to arrive in a few minutes and Blair was tense. Too tense over a birthday party. Her phone started ringing and she picked up quickly, "Dan?"<p>

"Hey, Blair." He sounded apologetic which meant nothing good was going to come out of the conversation. "I know this is super late but I can't come over tonight."

Blair gripped the phone in her hand and she could see Serena look at Nate and grab his knee. This is what happened when you threw a surprise party. "Really? Why? Why can't you come over?" she asked, her voice speeding up as she calculated everything in her head that was going to go to waste. The chef she hired, the cake she ordered, the decorations.

"My dad called, Jenny's in town to surpass me for my birthday."

"Right. Your birthday. Totally forgot that was tonight," she said through gritted teeth. "Happy birthday, Dan."

"You know you called me this morning to tell me that, right?" he laughed. "Do you think we can go out to dinner tomorrow instead?"

"No," she replied, standing from the chair and ripping down a decoration. "I'm busy tomorrow."

"Blair," he said, sighing lightly. Blair tried to remind herself that it wasn't his fault and that he didn't know about this, but it was still bothering her. "I'm sorry. Jenny is only in for the night before she has some business meeting tomorrow and then is going back to Paris."

Blair sighed, "Okay. Well, I can't do anything this weekend, so I guess I'll see you next week."

"Blair," he responded. "Blair, I said I was sorry. I know this is last minute, but do you want to come?"

"I have to go," she said, biting her lip so she didn't say more.

She could hear Dan take a breath on the other end of the conversation, "Okay. I'll call you tomorrow."

Blair hung up the phone and threw it to the couch. "I'm going upstairs. Please enjoy the chef and the wine and the cake," she told Serena and Nate.

* * *

><p>Blair ran the bath water, sticking her feet in scalding hot water as she sat on the edge of the tub. She heard a small knock on the door before it opened. Serena never was one for waiting. "I just want to be alone, S," she said, turning her head to her friend. "I know I don't have a right to be mad, I know, but I still am."<p>

"I know, B," Serena said, sitting on the edge and putting her hand on Blair's back. "It sucks. It's disappointing but he didn't know, and he invited you there, didn't he? He wasn't blowing you off, something came up. He didn't realize you planned this."

"I know, that's the problem with surprises," Blair said, leaning her head on Serena's shoulder. "I just, I'm disappointed. I wanted tonight to be perfect and now, I guess it can still be perfect for you and Nate."

"Did I hear my name?" Nate said, entering the room. "Blair, your phone was ringing so I just wanted to bring it to you. You okay, Blair?"

Blair nodded, taking her feet out of the water and shaking her feet off. "I'm fine."

Nate walked towards her and squeezed Blair's shoulder, "I-" The phone started ringing and Nate handed it to Blair, "Serena and I are going to go downstairs. The chef said the appetizers were ready, and I'm kind of hungry."

"Me too," Serena said, standing. "Come down when you're ready, B."

Blair nodded, biting her lip. She looked at her phone, debating if she wanted to pick it up or not. She decided to press answer and put the phone to her ear.

"Blair?" Dan asked from the other side.

"Mhm," she replied, standing and pacing her bathroom.

"I'm so sorry. Nate called-"

"Fucking Nate."

"No, it's good that he did. I had no idea, and I don't know why I didn't because it's very you to plan something, that this was more than just going out to dinner. I called my dad and told him what was happening and he and Jenny understand. I'm going to come over."

"No, Dan," she replied. "Jenny's only in town for the night, like you said, so you should be with them for your birthday. It's fine, I know the risks of surprises. Sometimes they don't work out." She could hear Dan on the other side spout off her address to the taxi driver. "Dan, I'm serious. Go home and be with them. I'll be fine, it's your birthday. Don't worry about me. Nate and Serena are downstairs chowing down on the food anyways, it's not going to waste." Progress, she thought to herself. She was growing up and putting other's before herself. At least on that other's birthday.

Dan sighed on the other end, probably realizing that Blair would be just as unhappy as she would be happy if he showed up. He recited off his dad's address to the taxi driver before starting to talk to Blair again, "I really want to spend my birthday with you, Blair."

"And everyone wants to spend your birthday with you, Dan," she replied softly. "If you're not too tired, why don't you come over after dinner. Maybe I can beat off the ravenous beasts in my dining room from devouring your cake."

"I'd like that," he replied.

"Bring your dad and Jenny if they want to come."

"I'll let them know you offered. I'll see you later tonight, Blair."

* * *

><p>Blair opened the door and Dan immediately embraced her, kissing her neck. "Hey, birthday boy," she said, laughing lightly into his ear. "Jenny, Rufus," she said, looking over his shoulder, "I'm so glad you guys came."<p>

"Oh, thank God," Nate said from behind them. "Serena and I had to develop a lot of self control over the last hour to not eat your cake.

Blair laughed, "Just ignore that giant hole in the corner. Their self control only lasted so long."


	10. the gala

"Don't you clean up nice," Dan said, looking up at Blair as she descended her staircase. "I would never have thought you were from Brooklyn of all places."

Blair rolled her eyes, picking up her draping skirt as she descended, and met him at the bottom. "Ha ha, Humphrey, very funny and clever."

"I've heard that I'm both of those things regularly," he nodded. "It must have gone to my head. Dan Humphrey, funny and clever. I put it on all my business cards. Small business owner, moonlights as a comedian."

"You're just so adorable," she said, scrunching up her face. "Remind me why I allow you to date me?" She leaned into him and kissed him. "You, however, clean up awfully. What is this suit? Who picked it out? Whoever helped you must have horrible taste."

"She does," he agreed, "but she's pretty great in bed."

"How crude," Blair said, laughing as he leaned in to kiss her again. "You do look pretty great, Humphrey. You should wear a suit more often." She brushed at his shoulder and looped her arm through his. "Are you ready?"

Dan looked at her, "Are you sure you want me to accompany you? You could go to the gala and I could meet you afterwards." He tugged nervously on his sleeve and Blair playfully slapped at his hand. "This isn't my scene, Blair. I think the closest I've come to this Upper East Side balls and galas in the seven years since dating Serena was at her and Nate's wedding."

"And I heard you killed it there," she said, patting him lightly on the arm. "You'll be fine and you certainly look fine, so don't worry. Also, you have the best date there can be."

"You are pretty great," he agreed, holding her apartment door open for her and then stepping slightly ahead of her after to get the car door for her. "I just don't know what to say to half the people that go to these things."

"So talk to the other half or just introduce yourself. Hi, I'm Dan Humphrey. See, easy? Do you want me to go through some introductions saying that first so you get used to it?" she teased as she slid into the car. "Plus, Nate and Serena will be there. Serena's birthday is coming up around the corner so she's going to want to talk about that. I think they want to go to the Hampton's to combine Fourth of July and her birthday."

Dan nodded, "Nate mentioned that a couple of weeks ago."

Blair reached over and squeezed his hand, "It's going to be fine. Who cares what the old ladies that decorate UES society have to say about you? I like you and that's all that matters."

She slid over on the seat next to him and rested her head, lightly as to not mess up her hair, on his shoulder. They had spent the last few months of their relationship hanging out mostly together or with Serena and Nate and so this was one of their first big events as a couple. Lilly Van Der Woodsen was on the board of the charity that it was for and Blair would have never heard the end of it from her, Serena or her own mother if she didn't attend.

"Hey," she said softly, running her thumb on the back of his hand, "if you really don't want to go, I'm not going to force you. You look extremely sexy in that suit though so it would be a complete waste of Hugo Boss but I'm sure we can find a use for it."

Dan kissed her forehead, "No, it's fine." Blair felt his shoulders rise as he took a deep breath in. She knew he hadn't had the easiest time when they were younger assimilating in to the culture of the Upper East Side, partly because of her, but it was different now. They were older, for one, and more mature and, at least for her, looked to other's for approval much less. "Blair," he started, as the car came to a stop outside of the venue where the gala was being held, an old theater that was currently being restored, "I love you."

Blair would swear later that her heart stopped for a second before he squeezed her hand, "Yeah, we should probably go in." She pointed out of the door, feeling small sweat beads line her forehead. She wasn't ready for that. Not there, not at that time, not tonight.

Dan nodded, not lingering on the subject, and helped her out of the car. Flashes went on around them. Page Six loved a good socialite night to pepper pages with and Blair put on a tense smile as she felt Dan's hand on her lower back, gently guiding her through the crowd and up the stairs. Before they went in, he pulled her lightly to the side of the staircase. "Hey, I don't want it to be weird. You don't have to say it to me, but I've-"

"Hey guys," Blair heard the cheery voice of Serena behind them.

Fantastic timing.

Blair grabbed Serena's hand and started pulling her into the crowd. She could hear Dan calling her name behind her and she glanced behind her to see him and Nate standing with their hands in their pockets with Dan looking very confused. "I'll find you," she called back to Dan and she could see him exchange a look with Nate. She could feel herself freaking out internally.

Serena started to pull against Blair's hand until they came to a stop in the middle of a crowd, "What is going on, Blair? You didn't even let me say hi to Dan back there."

"He said it, Serena."

"What? Were you guys in a fight? He did look really concerned when Nate and I walked up. Said what?" she furrowed her brows. "Was he breaking up with you? Tonight? I'll kill him."

"No," Blair shook her head, "the other thing."

"I have no idea what you are talking about, Blair."

"The L word. He said it in the car."

"So?" Serena asked. "I'm so confused. You guys haven't said it yet?"

Blair shook her head, "No! Well, he might have when he was drunk a couple of weeks ago but I just figured it was the liquor talking and I'm not ready for it."

Serena patted Blair on the shoulder, "You make mountains out of mole hills more than anyone else I know."

"It's a mountain, Serena. A very large mountain. I don't want him to think I don't just because I didn't say it but also I'm not sure if I'm there yet and-"

"Ladies," Lilly said, coming between both of them. She leaned in to give Blair a kiss on both cheeks before giving a hug to Serena. "I'm so glad you could come, Blair. Where's Dan? Serena told me you two were seeing each other and that he would be here. I haven't seen him in years despite trying to get him to my place for the holidays every year."

Blair nodded, "He's over there somewhere. He got distracted."

"Dan told her he loved her and she didn't say it back," Serena said, filing in the blanks for her mom.

"Serena," Blair complained. "Don't say it that loudly!"

"And then she dragged me away and poor Dan is stuck with my husband." Serena leaned on her toes to try and look over the crowd, "They're actually coming our way with drinks."

Blair bit the inner part of her lip as she saw Nate and Dan's faces through the crowd. She tried to steady her breath as they came closer and would have dashed into the crowd if it was not for Lilly placing her hand on Blair's shoulder strategically at the same time that Blair was looking for an exit strategy. Dan extended his hand to her, giving her both the flutes of champagne so that he could greet Lilly warmly. Blair tried to signal to Serena to follow her to the bathroom with her eyes but Serena was avoiding eye contact as best as she can. She did give Blair a couple of apologetic smiles as Dan and Lilly caught up.

"Well, I'm going to go," Lilly told them. "I'll let you young folks hang out. I have a lot of people to talk to tonight to try and raise some money to help with the restorations of this place. Isn't the art on the ceiling just beautiful?" Lilly looked up and the four of them followed suit. "We're trying to get the entire place repainted so it can start functioning as a theater again. I mean, we need a couple of other things like a new stage and seats… but baby steps. Blair, Dan… it was lovely to see the both of you. Please come over for Sunday brunch one of these days."

Lilly excused herself, disappearing into the crowd and Serena and Nate quickly followed suit, acting as though they had seen someone important that they had to introduce themselves to. It left Blair and Dan to stare awkwardly at the ground while Blair, mostly, tried to find ways to avoid her awkward response to those three words.

Dan finally broke the silence, "Blair, I'm going to go."

"We just got here," she quickly replied, bringing her eyes up from the floor to his. "Don't go."

"Then can you talk to me? I thought it was awkward thinking about meeting people I've probably met before when I was younger again and having to explain who I was and how no, I'm not from their neighborhood but this, I didn't expect this."

"I didn't expect that," Blair responded.

Dan glanced at the ceiling before looking back at her, stepping closer to her so they could have as private a conversation as they were going to get in a crowded place. "I didn't expect to say it right then. It just came out. I've wanted to say it for awhile, Blair. I do, love you I mean. And, as I was trying to say before Serena and Nate showed up, was that it's okay if you're not there yet or you don't want to say it if you are. It's okay."

Blair lowered her chin, "I'm not ready for it."

Dan nodded, "Okay." He looked around, "Come on. Drag me around and introduce me to everyone who is important. I need to show off my beautiful girlfriend and even more beautiful suit."

She laughed in response as he leaned down and kissed her cheek. "Well, there's the governor's wife and over there is the mayor's wife. Lilly is really bringing in the big guns for this paint job. And… over there is one of my mother's friends who is another fashion designer and he is with his boyfriend who is a model. We should probably start with them and make our way to at least the mayor's wife. I have political aspirations to rule the world and maybe she could help."

"God help us all," he laughed as she took her hand and they started to make their way through the crowd together.


	11. the fourth of july

"Don't splash me, Humphrey," Blair said from her spot in a float in the pool that Nate and Serena rented. Dan ignored her warning as he tipped her float over and she slid into the pool. Blair emerged from the water, her sunglasses floating next to her, and she lunged for him. "I was getting the most perfect even tan and you ruined it," she said, latching on to his neck and wrapping her legs around his torso. "You are such a jerk," she said, pressing her lips against his.

"You are the jerk," he responded, backing against the wall of the pool. "We have this gorgeous pool for the afternoon and you are spending it floating around and ignoring me." He tried his best to mimic her famous pout before starting to laugh and sliding his arms around her waist. "When are Serena and Nate getting back anyways?"

Blair shrugged, "Depends on traffic, I guess, and what time they left the city from dropping Ava off at Lilly's."

"Who else is coming tonight?" Dan asked, running his fingers on her back under the water. "Chuck?"

"Chuck and whatever model he is banging lately. I think this one has done a Vogue spread or two. I guess that's a step up from Abercrombie catalogues. They are coming with Serena and Nate and I'm not sure if anyone else is coming. I think Serena invited her brother and Lola but I don't think either could come or, in Lola's case, wanted to come." Blair ran her fingers through his hair, "I can't believe it's already the Fourth of July."

Dan leaned in to her, grazing his lips against her collar bone, "I can't believe we have to leave tomorrow."

Blair closed her eyes as she felt his hands run up her back and find the ties on her swim suit, pulling at them gently, "Sorry that some of us have to go on a book tour."

"Mmm, yes, the hard life of an author. Free traveling to talk about the book that came out months ago."

"I asked you if you wanted to come," she said. "We could have lived a week of hotel rooms and room service. And it's a tour of a bunch of YA authors who are bucking the tread of the supernatural and going for a more realistic vision of the world. At least I'm pretty sure that's what the posters said. I just glanced at them to make sure they spelt my name right."

"Because it's so hard to spell Blair," he teased, kissing lightly below her ear. "And if the Upper East Side for high school students not from there isn't a dystopian hell then I don't know what is."

Blair nodded, grabbing his chin gently and leaning his head back and kissing him. Dan fingers danced lightly over her bare back as the strap for the back of her bikini floated next to them. She tugged gently at the back of his head, running her fingers through his hair as she squeezed her legs tightly around him. She would have continued that way happily for the rest of the afternoon had it not been for a cough coming from above them.

"Jesus Christ, Chuck," she said, pushing away from the wall and quickly making work of the tie on the back of her suit. Dan's face was flushed and she wasn't sure if it was from what they had been doing, embarrassment, or the sun. Or a combination of all three. "Fucking avert your eyes, you peeping Tom."

"Carry on," he said, his voice low and she could hear him trying to hold back laughter. Blair splashed at him from in the pool and took solace in the fact that he jumped back like a little child. "It's nothing I haven't seen before, Blair."

"You are disgusting," Blair said, swimming over to the steps and getting out of the pool. "Grow up." Blair grabbed her towel and circled around the pool to where Chuck was standing. She was going to just pass to go in the house but when she saw him wink at her, she gave him a quick shove and reveled in him falling into the pool after losing his balance.

As he emerged soaking wet to the laughter of both Blair and Dan, who was now climbing out of the pool, he scowled. "And you told me to grow up, Blair," he said, narrowing his eyes.

She shrugged as she entered the sliding door of the house to Serena and Nate dropping off groceries on the kitchen floor of their rented house. "Tell me again, S, why you invited Chuck? Where's his girlfriend anyways? Doesn't he have anything better to do than bother Dan and me?"

"Did he catch you having sex?" Nate said, his eyes wide as Dan followed Blair into the kitchen.

Dan and Blair both spoke at the same time, "No!"

"God no," Blair said, rolling her eyes. "We weren't doing any thing inappropriate. He just has a way of being the most annoying person on earth."

"Well, maybe because he just got broken up with," Serena said, unpacking the groceries. "Do you want to help me, B?"

Blair looked at her, raising her eyebrows, "I have to shower. I feel dirty."

* * *

><p>Blair laughed as Serena shook the bottle of champagne and popped the bottle, spraying all five of them. Dan wrapped his arms around Blair's waist from behind her and she rested the back of her head on his chest. "Happy early birthday, Serena! Only you could win out in a competition between the country and yourself for who we were going to celebrate."<p>

"Speech!" Nate said, already slightly intoxicated from the beer that he and Chuck had been drinking throughout the afternoon. "Wife, make a speech."

Serena rolled her eyes before plopping down on the sand, missing the blanket they had set down by a foot. She was also slightly tipsy but it was because her and Blair had shared a bottle of champagne before they had walked down from the house to the beach. They had gulped it from the bottle like they used to when they were teenagers and too lazy to find their parents good glasses. "To my love," she said, raising the bottle over her, "Blair."

"Boo," Nate said, sitting next to her. "I'm always second to Blair."

"Get over it, Nate," Blair said, leaning down and taking the bottle from Serena's hands. "You should be used to it by now."

"I'm kidding," Serena laughed, laying down with her head in Nate's lap. "To my true love, Nate, for renting this beautiful house and letting me celebrate my birthday ten days early. And, of course, to my three great friends who came down here with us to celebrate. I wish Dan and Blair could stay longer but Blair is the worst and has to work."

Nate leaned down and kissed her and Blair pretended to be disgusted, burying her head into Dan's shoulder. "Get a room," Blair joked, lightly kicking sand their way.

Chuck looked down at his watch, "Well, please excuse me. I see a party over there that needs to be crashed. Being with two couples is hurting my ego more than I would have guessed. Thank you for dinner and the drinks." He nodded, "I'll be back later when I find someone to drag into this." He paused, "Blair, can I talk to you for a second?"

Blair raised her eyebrows, pressing her thumb into her chest, "Me?" He nodded and she shrugged as Dan let go of his hold on her. She stepped forward before turning back to Dan and holding up one finger, "I'll just be a second."

She walked with Chuck until they were out of earshot of the other three before he started to talk, "Are you and Humphrey serious?"

"What?" she asked, furrowing her brow. "Did you and Nate smoke something as well as drink?"

"Are you two serious?"

Blair bit her lip, "What are you going on about?"

"Just answer the question," he said, slightly raising his voice before glancing back at the other three who hadn't seemed to notice. "Are you guys a momentarily thing or a real thing?"

"Why would I waste my time at this age on a momentarily thing?" she asked. "Chuck, what is this? Why do you care?"

"I just wanted to know," he said, his head slightly bowing. "I just figured," he sighed as he turned slightly from her to look at the ocean. "I just figured that we would get to a certain age and find each other again. I didn't figure Humphrey into the plan."

"Chuck, I was never waiting for you," Blair said, trying to keep her voice level. As much as Chuck was an annoyance to her at times, they were still, and had been for years, friends. "When we broke up a few years ago, it was over for me. You prove to be a much better friend to me than you ever were a boyfriend. Why is this coming up now?"

"I proposed to you, Blair," he said.

"Five years ago! Drunk as fuck and also using Serena's ring as your own."

"I was going to buy you a ring," he muttered.

Blair took a deep breath, "It doesn't matter, Chuck. For all the times we were happy, we had double the amount of times when we made each other miserable. Like right now. This has never been a thing until you saw Dan and me."

"It made it real."

"You've been dating people ever since we broke up," Blair said, throwing up her arms in frustration. "You flaunt them in front of me. Stop acting like you care about me in any other way than friendship. This is just stupid jealously rearing it's ugly head. Yes, Dan and I are serious. No, this," she said pointing between the two of them, "is never going to happen again. Even if Dan and I break up, it won't be a thing. I'm not going to risk anything I have with Dan over something you want to claim is still between us. I love him."

Blair stopped, closing her mouth and glancing back from Chuck to Dan, who was laughing at something Nate or Serena had said.

She loved him.

"Chuck, I don't know what brought this up but I need to get back over there," she said, thumbing at the three friends behind her back. "You know that we're friends but we can't be anything else." Chuck nodded, looking slightly sad but mostly okay, and Blair reached out to squeeze his arm before practically running back to the blanket. "Dan, do you want to come with me back to the house? I think we need more champagne."

"I think that's a great idea," Serena said, her head still in Nate's lap.

"And bring some chips," Nate blurted out.

Dan looked confused but stood like a confused puppy dog and followed Blair the short distance in silence to the house. When they shut the sliding door behind them, he started to talk, "Are you getting back with Chuck? Was that what you were discussing?"

"No?" Blair said. It was her turn to look confused. "Why would you think that?"

"Something Nate said earlier that he said came from Chuck in the car. Something about making a play for you." He shrugged, "I just figured that was what that was. His big play."

"And you let me go off with him?" Blair shook her head, "You would just let me go off with someone you think is going to steal your girlfriend?"

Dan scratched his head, "Okay, so not the smartest move on my part but what was I going to say? Stop, Blair, he's going to try and trick you into loving him again? Stop, Blair, it's a trap?"

"How about… stop, Blair, because I love you?" she said, raising her eyebrows and putting her hands on his chest. "I think that would have worked."

"I thought you weren't ready for that and banned me from saying it again until you were?"

"Well," Blair said, tapping her fingers lightly against his chest, "Chuck did try and pull something." She could feel Dan's hands besides her turn into fists. "I told him that he was basically wasting his breath." Blair could feel Dan slightly relax at the reassurance and she stepped closer to him. "I told him something I should have told you already."

"And?"

"And… that is," Blair looked up at him, "that I love you, Dan Humphrey."

"You told Chuck this before me?" Dan asked, raising his eyebrows before cracking a smile.

"Accidentally."

"Well, I'm glad the embargo has lifted because I am in love with you, Blair."

* * *

><p>"We brought champagne," Dan said, lifting the bottles over his head.<p>

Blair meekly lifted the two she was carrying, "And we have a special announcement which is that we are totally in love with each other."

"We knew that, you idiot," Serena responded, lifting her hand for a bottle. "Screw love, though, let's drink."

Blair put a bottle in Serena's hand before sitting down on the blanket, Dan settling in next to her. She placed her chin on his shoulder and draped her legs over his. "I love you, Dan Humphrey."

Dan smiled at her before covering her mouth playfully with his hand. "Screw love, let's drink… and also, the fireworks are about to start and they are my favorite part of the summer."

Blair gently hit his bottle with hers and looked over at Nate and Serena, who were sitting like the picture perfect couple they were next to her.

So this was happiness, she thought, before handing her bottle to Dan to open for her.

If this was happiness, she liked it very much.


	12. the key

Blair stood, soaked, in front of the Archibald's door, pressing the doorbell. When the door swung open, she didn't even glance at who was standing there and instead blurted out, "I just broke up with Dan and I need vodka and a friend."

* * *

><p>"And I'll have a glass of white wine, please," Blair said, propping the drink menu up on the counter. "House is fine."<p>

Dan raised his eyebrows, "House? Blair Waldorf getting house wine? Look at that."

"Funny. I just didn't feel like reading the list."

They were at a bar near Dan's apartment. It was small and dark and the type of establishment that Blair usually went out of her way to avoid. However, it was close by and she had been holed up in her apartment for the better part of the last month trying to finish up the next in her series as well as figure out what stories she wanted to include in her memoir. They were being published together in a couple of months as her publisher was trying to get people to buy them as a package. She would have gone to any bar just to get out of the house.

"I feel like I haven't seen you in awhile," Dan said, his hand resting on the back of Blair's chair. "Between your book tour and working on your books. I miss you," he said, nuzzling his forehead into her shoulder.

Blair rested her cheek on the top of his head until the bartender came back, setting their drinks in front of them. "I know, I feel like I haven't had time to breath lately. It's almost done though. One more week until my deadline and I think I'm quite close to finishing everything."

"I thought your memoir was done around Christmas. Did I get an incomplete copy?"

Blair laughed, "No, it was complete, but things happen. I wanted to change things. It was such a heavy focus on my relationship with Chuck and I'm over that. I'm sick of writing about him."

"So what did you put in there instead?"

"New beginnings," she said, turning her head to him. "I just expanded more on my family and wrote about bad choices and kept in some writings about him. I wanted girls to read it and look at it and say that that's not a relationship they want. I also may have added a chapter about fresh starts and not letting first judgements get in the way of happiness."

Dan nodded, taking a sip of his beer. "Sounds like I'll be making more of a feature appearance than a cameo."

"Ha ha," she said, rolling her eyes. "You might be in there more but I tried to just do some general tips. I'm not kidding myself on who I think is going to pick it up, so I want girls to look at it and get good ideas. It's hard being a role model," she said, pouting slightly. "It was easier when my publisher wanted me to stay out of the public eye as much as possible."

"I don't think that's happening as you seem to go to every charity event ever and get in Page 6."

"It's not my fault that I am very photogenic," she said, pressing her knuckles into his arm. "I usually have a very handsome date next to me."

"Yes," he nodded. "I believe they say 'Unidentified Male Companion' on the caption."

"Well, would you like to be identified?" Blair asked. "I can get my publisher to call in and give them your name."

"No, no," Dan said, laughing. He moved his hand from his glass to his pocket where he pulled out a small box. "I was thinking about when the right time to give this to you was over the last month but since you've become a hermit, better give it to you now before I don't see you again for a month." He passed the box on the bar to Blair, who stared at it. "It's not anything special, Blair. Don't get your hopes up."

She nodded slightly before opening the cover of the box to see a key. She held it up between her index and thumb finger. "What is this? I already have a key to the bookstore. Did you already forget that I'm part of your friend and family discount?"

"It's not to my bookstore," he said, tracing his finger in the condensation of his bottle. "It's to my apartment."

Blair nodded, "Right."

"I just figured it might be easier than having to buzz you in every time you come over. It's really pure laziness on my part."

Blair was speechless, flipping the key back and forth in her palm. It was early September so they had been dating a little over six months and yet she hadn't been prepared for the exchange of keys. Her stomach was in knots as she tried to figure out what she wanted to say. "Thank you?" she said, pressing the key in her palm. "Are you sure it's a good idea?"

"I mean, you might find me with my other girlfriend one day, but it's a chance I'll take."

"I just meant in general. Is it not too early for this?"

"It's just a key, Blair. You don't have to use it. I just, I don't know. I thought you could get some use out of it or at least have it in case of an emergency."

"Like my apartment burning down?" she asked, staring at the key still. "Don't you think it's a little soon?"

Dan shrugged, "I'm not asking you to move in or for an exchange-"

Dan was cut off as Blair spotted Chuck Bass entering the bar with a blonde on his arm. "Chuck?" she asked, waving him over. Blair was pressing her luck with this one. Although Dan hadn't made any restrictions of her hanging out with him, she could see him visibly tense up as he took the box from the table and slipped it back in his pocket. Blair still had the key in her palm. "What are you doing here?" she said, standing to give Chuck a kiss on the cheek. "Isn't it a little out of your way?"

"Natasha lives near by and suggested it. Blair, this is Natasha. Natasha, this is Blair." Chuck ignored Dan who was doing his best to keep his eyes straight ahead on the bartender and not turn around.

"Why don't you guys sit down with us," Blair said, as she shook the blonde's hand. "We were just grabbing a drink. It would be nice to have company."

"Blair," Dan said, turning his head to her and furrowing his brow.

"Oh, right. This is my boyfriend, Dan," she said, ignoring what he was trying to convey in his message. Dan shook Natasha's hand and nodded in Chuck's general direction.

Chuck took the seat next to Blair and Blair turned her back slightly on Dan as she immersed herself in a conversation with the two of them. They talked about where Chuck and Natasha had met (his hotel) and what she did (advertising) and where she was from (Florida) before Blair heard shuffling behind her. Dan was standing up when she turned around and she widened her eyes, "Where are you going?"

"Home," he said plainly, putting money on the bar and walking out of the bar.

Blair turned to Chuck and Natasha, "I'll be right back." When she got out of the bar, she could see Dan's silhouette walking in the slight distance. "Dan!" she called, and watched as he turned around and stepped towards her. Blair could feel a few stray raindrops on her head and looked up to the sky which had turned from a nice sunset to dark and threatening. A late summer thunderstorm was on its way.

"Blair, I just want to go home."

"I thought we were getting drinks."

"We were until Chuck and his date came and you invited them to our date."

"I was just catching up with a friend," she countered. "You were being rude."

"I was being rude? Chuck pretended he didn't notice me and then you turned your back. Yeah, I was the one being rude." Dan covered his head with his hands, trying to shield himself from the rain. "I don't want to do this here."

"Do what?" Blair asked, standing under the awning of the bar.

"Argue about this. Argue about the fact that anytime you don't want to talk about something, you find a way to ignore it and avoid it."

"I didn't plan for Chuck to come in," she protested.

"Even if he didn't come in," Dan started as he started to walk towards her to stand under the awning to avoid the rain, "you would have changed the subject. You do it every time. You avoid things."

"I just wasn't ready for that," she argued. "It took me by surprise."

"It's a key, Blair. It's not a ring or me asking you to move in, it's just to make things easier."

"It makes things complicated."

"What's complicated about it?" he said, his voice slightly rising. "It's a key to my apartment. We've been together for six months. It's not like we are just casually hooking up and I'm trying to move past that. We're in a relationship. I love you."

"I think this is moving too fast," she blurted out. She instantly regretted it, knew she didn't mean it, but she made no comment to take it back. It was what she did best, self destruct and self preserve.

Dan shrugged, putting his hands in his pocket and leaning on his toes. "What are you saying, Blair?"

"I don't know," she said softly. "I don't know."

"What do you want, Blair?"

"I think I just need to be alone, Dan," she said, biting her lip. "I think I just need some time."

"Are we breaking up?" Dan looked hurt and Blair wanted to reach out and comfort him, even though she knew she was the one delivering the blows. She had felt herself spiraling for the last month quietly and it was all coming to a head. Once she was on the path, she couldn't get off of if.

Blair shrugged, looking down at her feet. "Maybe?"

"Okay," he said, giving one nod before turning around. "Okay, if that's what you want, that's fine."

Blair watched him go, swearing under her breath to herself. She didn't know why she couldn't let herself be happy, why she couldn't let herself just enjoy the ride. She had gone through every situation she could think of in her mind with Dan and all of them ended with their relationship going up in flames and now she could be the one to say she had driven them to the fire. At least she was the one who made the ultimate call, she told herself. At least she was the one who did the breaking up with intend of the one being broken up with.

But, she thought to herself, if that was the case then why did it feel like her heart was breaking?

* * *

><p>"Blair?" Nate said, opening the door to his and Serena's apartment. "Serena's not here. She's out with her mom and Ava for the night for dinner."<p>

"Can I come in?' she asked, rain falling on her head.

Nate looked behind him and then looked at Blair again, "I actually have someone over."

Blair tried to strain her neck to look around him and then looked at Nate again. "Who?"

"A friend," he said awkwardly, as he tried to close the door so there was only space for him. "No one you know."

"Let me in, Archibald. If you're cheating on Serena, I'll kill you," she said, pushing him out of the way and letting the rage she felt take over for the pain she had been feeling. "Hello?" she called, hearing noises come from the living room.

Nate reached for her arm but she just pulled him along, "I'm not cheating, Blair. I just think you should go."

"Archibald, I just accidentally broke up with the one person who really understood and loved me because I'm an idiot. This is at least distracting me." Nate let her arm go, not even bothering to follow her. "Hello?" she called again before turning in to the living room.

"Blair," Nate tried to protest feebly as she took in who was in the room.

"Dan?" she said, standing in the doorway and seeing her equally soaked (ex) boyfriend sitting on the Archibald's couch.


	13. the make up

"Drink, Blair?" Nate asked, coming in behind her and placing his hand on her back and leading her further into the room.

"Vodka." She paused, "And three shot glasses."

"Blair," Nate said, his voice strained. "Do you think that's a good idea?"

"Yes," she replied with a curt head nod as she placed herself on the arm of the couch. She glanced down at Dan who was busy focusing on his own hands. Nate replied by getting up and returning with a bottle of vodka and three shot glasses. He set them down, one in front of Dan, one in front of Blair and then sat between the two of them, setting the last in front of him. "Oh no, Archibald, they are all for me."

"Seriously?" came the reply from both the males and she shook her head. She debated saying yes but it was probably a good idea for all of them, well mostly her and Dan, to be on the same page.

"Okay," she said, leaning over and lifting the shot glass. "Bottoms up." The three of them downed the clear liquid with all three of them making a face afterwards. "Pour another one."

"Blair," Nate said reluctantly as he looked to Dan. Dan shrugged in reply and Nate let out a slight puff of air before filling the glasses back up.

"One, two, three," she counted before leaning her head back and letting the alcohol burn her throat. "Delicious," she said, putting the glass down. "One more?"

"No," came the reply from both Dan and Nate.

Nate looked at her, "I think two is enough for the span of thirty seconds. And I think maybe I should go busy myself in a different room so the two of you," he looked from Blair to Dan and back again, "can work on whatever you need to work on."

"Stay," Blair commanded. "I think we should all have a nice evening as friends."

Dan, who had stayed genuinely quiet and stoic, snorted. "Yeah, I think that's going to work out really well for us. Maybe if you want to have a nice evening as friends, you should go back to hang out with Chuck and Natalie."

"Natasha," she corrected.

Dan nodded, "Right. I wasn't properly introduced to her, so-"

Nate stood, "Okay, enough. I'm going to go to the kitchen."

"Sit," Blair commanded again and Nate reluctantly sat back on the couch. "As I was saying, a nice evening with friends where we can all discuss our favorite things about each other. Nate, you go first."

Nate looked at her, helplessly raising his hands, "I don't want any part of this."

"You put yourself in the middle when you almost refused to let me in as I was standing in the rain, Nathaniel Archibald. There are two sides to every story and I think I should get to tell mine."

"Dan didn't tell me anything," Nate said, looking confused and turned his head to Dan. "He came here and said he had a rough evening and was wondering if I was free, which I was. Then you came in barging in, accusing me of cheating may I add, and then plopping yourself on the couch."

Blair looked at Dan, "You didn't tell him anything."

"I didn't think there was anything to tell," he said, raising his shoulders. "I just mentioned that we had a fight."

"You didn't mention how you broke up with me?"

"I broke up with you?" he sounded outraged. "If anyone broke up with anyone, it was you with me. You can't twist this, Blair."

"You said the words, 'Are we breaking up?' That is breaking up with me!" she protested, sliding from the arm of the couch to the cushion and leaning over past Nate. "What was I supposed to say to that?"

"You said you wanted to be alone," he countered. "And needing time. How is that not saying we are breaking up but not using those words."

Blair puffed out air, blowing her hair from her face, "I need another shot, Nate. Pour."

"Same," Dan said, leaning forward and grabbing his glass.

"I think you two should work out whatever this is without me," Nate protested before pouring vodka into each of their glasses, avoiding his own. "You can have my living room, just don't involve me."

Blair nodded before dismissing him with her hand, "Then go. But don't go far in case I need someone to pour my liquor."

"Pour your own, Blair," Nate said, laughing as he stood up. "I don't know what's going on here but don't make any stupid decisions." He was looking at Blair as he said the last statement and she pointed at herself and mouthed 'Me?' "Yes, you."

Blair looked offended before pressing herself into the cushions of the couch. "How rude," she said, "he's picking sides already."

"I think he's just giving you sage advice," Dan said, lifting up his shot glass. "Shall we?" he said, lightly tapping his to hers.

Blair took the shot and then turned towards him, "I went to your apartment."

"I was here," he replied.

"I can see," she said, leaning against the arm. "Dan, I'm no good at this."

"What part?"

"Every part," she admitted. "I don't want to blame this on Chuck because it's not really his fault but that was my last actual relationship. Can you imagine that? That being the last true memory I have of being in love and doing all these things. I don't know how to act anymore."

Dan nodded, "So you are possessed? Should I call a priest?"

"Dan," she said, leaning in to him and pressing her index finger against his chest. "Dan, I am scared of what this is."

"So am I," he said, turning to look at her.

Blair leaned into him so they were practically touching noses and stared into his eyes, "You could have fooled me. You seem so confident and nonchalant about everything. Like oh, hey Blair, I love you. Just like it's this easy thing to say. Or, hey Blair, here's a key."

"I wasn't confident about either of those things and may I say, you reacted very poorly to both of them so really my confidence is just getting lower and lower." He laughed slightly but Blair could tell that it was the kind of laugh that you do when you are trying to hide what you really feel. "I'm not confident in this, are you kidding me? I haven't felt this unsure of myself since high school."

"Me either," she admitted. "I just get so overwhelmed with everything when it happens. I don't know why I even do what I do half the time or say what I say. I don't really think this is moving too fast, it just came out. I'm scared of being hurt, of letting myself completely free fall."

"I'm not going to hurt you," Dan told her, placing his hands under her knees and slightly pulling her towards him. "It's natural to be scared, Blair, but I think that maybe you need to start facing things head on instead of completely running away from them. I can't take much more of it."

"I'm sorry," she said, looking at his hands which were now placed on her thighs. "I am. I don't want to break up."

"Neither do I," he told her, leaning in towards her. "I can take back the key, Blair. You don't have to take it."

"No," she told him. "I want it. I just react badly to surprises, I guess."

"Yeah, well remind me of that around your birthday."

"Nate, you can come back in now," Blair called, and was not surprised when the door handle to the living room immediately turned. "Were you listening?"

"Just making sure no one got hurt," Nate said, slightly clapping his hands together. "And that you didn't do anything stupid."

* * *

><p>The vodka kicked in halfway back to Dan's apartment and both Dan and Blair were giddy as they walked back hand in hand. They kept stopping to kiss and Blair had felt bricks digging into her back on multiple occasions. She didn't even notice, well she at least didn't mind, the rain anymore. She tugged Dan along as they reached the bookstore and Blair dug out that key from her purse, taking a few moments to get it in the lock and then turning it.<p>

"You're drunk," Dan laughed.

Blair shook her head, "No. You are."

Dan nodded, "That I am."

As they stumbled in to the storefront, Blair's choice of entrance over the street entrance to Dan's staircase, Blair pulled Dan towards her, her back against a shelf. "I don't know why you stick with me."

"Me either," he joked, letting his lips dance on her neck.

"Hey," Blair said. "It's only funny when I say it." She tugged at his shirt which was still wet and clinging to his body. "I love you, Dan." Blair tugged the shirt upwards, revealing his bare chest under it and wrapped her arms around her neck. "But mostly I love this bookstore."

"Mhm," he muttered as he worked to take Blair's shirt off. He was kissing down her chest and Blair's back was arched slightly against the books.

"We should go upstairs," she said between curt breaths. "And we can use my key."

"We should," he nodded, sliding his hands down her back and on her thighs. He lifted her up, pushing her against the shelf. "Or we don't have to?"

Blair nodded, "Too far." She held on to his neck as she started to work on his belt.

Although she certainly enjoyed the make up part of the break up, when she woke up the next day surrounded by shelves and wrapped up in Dan's limbs, she definitely didn't want to do the break up part again.


	14. the q&a

"Hey, are you up?" Dan's voice came over the other end of the phone as Blair rolled over in her hotel bed. She was on the road to promote both the books she had coming out and it just happened to be falling on her birthday.

"I am now," she said, pushing herself up in the bed and rubbing her eyes. "I don't really have anything to do today so I didn't set my alarm. What time is it?"

"Around 10," he replied. "Happy birthday, Blair."

Blair smiled sadly. She wished that she was spending her birthday in the city with Dan instead of being in the middle of a flyover state for a Q&A and a book signing. "Thanks. I wish you were here though."

"Me too," he said letting out a sigh. "I wish this thing at the bookstore could have been pushed back-"

"Dan, I know," she interrupted him. "I'll be home in a couple of days, we can celebrate then."

"But your birthday is your favorite day of the year, I just feel bad I'm not there."

"I'm turning 28, it's not a big deal. At least it's not a major birthday." Blair flung the blankets off her legs and looked outside to see a steady downpour. Even the weather wasn't going to cooperate on her birthday. "What are you doing today?"

"Working mostly and then getting ready for that signing tonight. I wish you were the author doing the event tonight. I have a bigger soft spot for teenagers than middle aged women fawning over a basic romance novel."

Blair laughed, sitting back down on the bed and putting her head back on her pillow, "Why do you offer up your space for this then?"

"Money, Blair. I do have a business to run."

"Right," she said, pausing as she moved her phone from one side of her face to the other. "I should probably get ready soon. My agent wants to get lunch with me for my birthday."

"Well, that's nice of her. Maybe you can imagine it's me instead."

"I think the grey hair and feminine voice might ruin the illusion."

"True. Hey, what are you wearing?"

"Humphrey," she laughed slightly before looking down at herself. "I should be getting ready and showering…"

"Even better, you'll already be undressed," he said, his voice low. "If I can't be there at least let me tell you what I would give you for your first present."

* * *

><p>Blair's hand was painfully aching as she looked up and smiled at the last girl in line. The last girl, who had a well placed headband with a bow, resembled Blair as she had been in high school. She even had matched her outfit to resemble the Constance Billard uniforms Blair had described in her books. Blair wasn't sure if she should be flattered or slightly creeped out. She chose to be flattered.<p>

"Hello," she said, smiling. Her agent and publisher both had requested Blair to remain slightly aloof through most of her book signings when she was just writing her (mostly) fiction books however as they were looking to sell her non-fiction book too, they had encouraged her to have more personal interaction with her fans on this book tour. Blair had taken this to mean personalizing signings instead of just signing her name, she blamed her aching hand on this in retrospect. "What's your name?"

"Brittany," the girl said, excitedly. "But all my friends call me B. Like in your book, how all the two best friends go by their initials. I took it from there and it stuck."

Blair nodded, quickly personalizing the signature, "Well, thank you so much for coming out tonight."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," the teenager said, fumbling for her phone. "Do you think we can take a quick picture? I know they said no pictures before but it's my birthday and it would mean so much."

Blair nodded, trying to figure out if this teenager was single white female-ing her with the tale of her initial and now the shared birthday. "Of course, anything for a birthday girl." Blair motioned for her to come closer and had her agent take the phone to take the picture. She could see the eyes of the other girls who had come before Brittany looking disappointingly on and probably thinking that they wished they had told Blair it was their birthday so they could get a picture. After the picture, Brittany leaned in to embrace Blair and Blair patted lightly on her back, looking at her agent with horror. She was not one to enjoy the random embraces of strangers, even those buying her books.

Once Brittany left the area, Blair got up and followed her agent behind a stack of books so that the organizer of the event could get the slightly raised stage ready for the Q&A. "I think I liked it better when I was told to be aloof," she said to Sharon, her agent. "My hand is killing me from signing their names in addition to my own." Blair grabbed a water bottle and started to take a few sips, "Also, I thought the signing was after the Q&A… isn't that usually how it goes? Shuffle everyone out happy with a signature."

Sharon nodded, "Most of the time. We just figured we would get the signing out of the way so you weren't exhausted for it." Blair noticed the Sharon was looking more nervous than usual and she kept glancing at her phone. Sharon furiously typed on her phone and Blair stood there, leaning against a bookshelf. When Sharon looked up, she almost seemed surprise to see Blair still standing there. "I'm sure they are ready by now. Did you go over the question list after lunch?"

Blair nodded slightly, "I glanced at them."

"Good," Sharon said, leaning to the side to look at the audience. "There are a couple of members of the audience who were chosen to ask you a few questions so don't be surprised by that. They should all be on the approved list already, but you never know. Some people like to improv when they get the chance." Sharon seemed to get a signal from someone on the other side of the shelf as she pushed her hand on Blair's back and started to push her to the stage. "If you don't want to answer a question, just say a couple of words. Better that then a full on refusal."

Blair started to turn her head to say something before she heard the applause of the audience and realized that it was just her and the stage for the next forty five minutes or so. She gave a little wave to the audience before taking her seat behind the table that she had done the signing at. Blair grabbed the microphone that was on the table and held it close to her, looking at the older woman who was going to serve as the moderator for the night. Switching the microphone on, she nodded to the older lady.

Through the next thirty minutes, Blair answered the standard questions she was often asked and therefore the most prepared for. She talked about the best ways she worked (at night and in bed), how long it took her to finish a book (it fluctuated based on her mood and her muse) and what was the most distracting thing for her (she answered Netflix but the honest answer would have been life in general). When it came time for the questions from the audience, Blair figured that they had heard enough about her writing process and took the microphone and told them to ask her anything.

"Anything?" It was Brittany, of course, up first and with the microphone of the moderator in hand. She took out the question that she was preselected to ask and started to crumple it up. "Are Charlotte and Benjamin going to end up together? "

Blair took a deep breath. Charlotte was the character that she had mirrored closely to herself where Benjamin had played the role of Chuck. She had though she had been very clever when she first started writing that she switched the first initials of them to make her characters name. The fact that she had started to write the books when she was still dating Chuck said a lot to how she wrote them in the beginning and fans had latched on to that ideal of a relationship instead of seeing the more recent developments in the books such as the relationship starting to become strained and unhappy.

"I don't think so," Blair said, trying to be diplomatic. "I think the characters are too alike to ever end up together and be happy. In all of their scheming and plans, I don't know if they ever plan too far ahead." She looked around, seeing disappointed girls in the audience from the news. "I mean, I haven't written the next book… but I think that's the headspace I'm currently in. I don't think it's realistic to have all the characters end up with the person who they were with in high school and I think that maybe, for both Charlotte and Benjamin, there are better people out there that will bring out their better sides. I wouldn't want them to be stuck in their high school mindsets forever."

Brittany herself looked disappointed as she sat down and Blair gave a little shrug. She had been trying to dissolve the relationship of the characters as her own had but her publishers said it was a main draw to the books so she was having to do it slowly and painfully.

The next girl took the microphone and started to shake slightly. "Um," she started. "Uh, I just- uh-"

"It's okay," Blair assured her, trying to lock eye contact with the girl. "Ask whatever you want. I won't bite."

"Don't you think that Charlotte and Benjamin are soul mates?"

Great, another question about a relationship she didn't want to focus on. She started to realize quickly that letting people ask their own questions was not going to result in anything besides this for the rest of the night.

"I don't think so," she said. When she looked towards the girl, who was still shaking, she felt bad for being so short with her answer. "I just think that they are going to grow up and realize that playing all these games with each other is not healthy. I think in my latest book, you see the cracks in their relationship really start to show. I think their foundation was never stable and trust was never completely there." Blair looked at the next girl who was in line to ask her a question, "Anything to ask that doesn't revolve around Charlotte and Benjamin?"

"I have a question," she heard a familiar male voice ask and from the back of the audience, Dan stood up.

Blair raised her eyebrows, "I think you are a little out of place for my normal audience."

She could hear whispers in the audience and quite a few girls were making the assumption that that, in real life, was the Benjamin coming to life from the pages.

"I got this advance copy of your memoir in December but I've noticed a lot of changes," he said, holding up the book that Blair had gifted him last Christmas. "It seems like you have taken out a lot of references to, what I will assume, is the real version of Benjamin. How long did it take you to edit this masterpiece and why remove all of those references?"

Blair smirked at him, "What a great question, stranger in the audience who I've never seen before. I think my life is moving on and I need to start focusing on the present and not the past. I live my past relationships a lot when writing my fictional tales and I wanted to write a different side of me in that book. When you got that book last Christmas, I believe the author… well, me… was in a different headspace. When I was looking over to edit it again before it was published, I realized that half of the stories I was telling didn't apply and didn't give a good message. I wanted to focus on the parts of my life that I'm proud of. Like getting over split second judgments and if they were born in Brooklyn and letting myself be happy."

Dan was smiling at her, starting to walk towards the stage. "I think I like the new copy much better."

"Well, I'm glad you approve," she said, putting down her microphone and stepping down from the stage. Blair walked towards him and hugged him. "What are you doing here?" she whispered into his ear. "I thought you had something tonight."

"I have people," he said, rubbing her back.

"People?"

"A person. My father. I wouldn't miss your birthday, Blair."

She pulled back, smiling, before he turned her around to see a cake being wheeled out on the stage and the audience starting to sing Happy Birthday to her. Blair covered her face and felt Dan's arms circle her torso.

* * *

><p>"You guys are such jerks," Blair said, sitting on the bed of her hotel room, eating a third piece of cake from what was left over that they had carried back to her room. "I was thinking how weird Sharon was acting and how it was so strange to have a Q&amp;A after the signing when we've always done it the other way."<p>

Sharon laughed, "We weren't sure if he was going to make it in time! We had to push it back. We wanted you to have the best birthday even if you had to work it."

Blair smiled, looking from her agent to her boyfriend, "Well, it was pretty great. Although I think all the girls were very thoroughly disappointed that you were not the human equivalent of Benjamin." She nudged Dan in the side who had a fork full of cake in his mouth.

"They'll get used to disappointment," he said, swallowing.

Sharon stood up, "Well, I need to get to bed. Only a few more stops, Blair, and then you're done for the year. I'll see you in the morning for our flight. Dan, it was great to see you."

Blair and Dan both stood up to give Sharon a warm hug and watched her as she left. Blair took another bite of her cake before Dan walked over and took the plate from her. "Hey, it's my birthday and I'll eat cake if I want to." She reached her fork around his back and tried to get the piece.

"Later," he told her, grabbing her for. "You know what we talked about earlier?"

"Oh when you lied and said you were so busy?" she said, raising her eyebrows but feeling her cheeks flush.

Dan nodded, "Well, it is your birthday and I did promise."

Blair giggled, lying down on the bed as Dan set the plates on the desk across from the bed. "Sharon's in the other room."

"Well hopefully it's soundproof," he said, leaning down to kiss her before pulling at her skirt. "Or I hope she has really, really great headphones."


	15. christmas

"Nate," Blair said, "Can you hold on one second?"

Nate looked from Blair, who was crossed legged on the floor of Ava's bedroom watching the little girl crawl around on the floor, to Serena who just shrugged and walked out the room. "What's up, Blair?" he asked, taking a step forward and swooping up his daughter in his arms. Blowing a raspberry on his daughters cheek, he put her back on the floor. "Are you trying to back out of babysitting at the last minute and didn't want to tell Serena?"

"You know I would never," Blair said, looking up at him. "She's my favorite member of the Archibald family. Right, A?"

"Don't start on the initials with her," Nate laughed. "So, what's up? What do you want to talk about that you don't want to say in front of Serena?"

Blair shrugged, "I just don't want her to make a big deal of it."

"Okay," he said, placing himself on the rocking chair and looking down at Blair. "Shoot. Unless you are trying to ask me how to break up with Dan in which case I will give you no advice besides not to."

"Nate," Blair said, reaching out for Ava and putting the girl in her lap, "be serious."

Nate shrugged, "You did it once and you came running here afterwards. It's not out of the picture."

"Months ago," Blair rolled her eyes. "And it's almost Christmas. It would be so heartless to break up with someone before Christmas. It's something different than breaking up. I was thinking, I don't know, after the holidays seeing if maybe Dan wants to cohabitate? You know, practically, to get rid of some costs."

Nate leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs, "Blair, since when do you worry about costs?"

She shrugged, focusing on the blocks that Ava was playing with, "Since now. I don't know, it just sounds more practical."

"Is that how you are going to ask Dan? We should save some money and move in together? Save the forests, shower together?"

"Nate," she said, tossing a block at him. "I'm being completely serious. How did you ask Serena?"

Nate shrugged, "I didn't. It just happened organically. That and only I had my own apartment so it wasn't like we wanted to hang out at her mom's all the time."

"You are not helping," Blair said, whining. "I need advice."

"I think you should just tell Dan that you think living together is a good idea."

"That's so unromantic."

"Better than saying it's for saving money," he countered, before pushing on his legs and standing up. "If you want my real advice, I say that you tell Dan that you see a future in the relationship and maybe looking to move in together would be the next step. See what he says." Nate bent down to give Ava a kiss and then ruffled Blair's hair. "I can see why you didn't want Serena here, I'm sure she would be gushing over how mature and grown up you've become since breaking up with Dan over him giving you a key."

"Hey!" Blair said, throwing another block up at him. "We don't speak of that."

Nate laughed, brushing his hair out of his eyes. "Look, I'm sure Dan will handle the proposition much better than you would so just do whatever feels natural. Serena and I should be back around 10."

"Get a hotel room and do whatever married couples avoid after the first year," Blair said wiggling her hotel room. "Ava and I will be just fine together for a night." She looked down at the year and a half year old, really closer to two than one, and smiled, "Won't we Ava?"

Nate nodded, "Well, we'll see."

* * *

><p>"Rufus, this was such a lovely meal," Blair said, slightly smiling as her hands were plunged in the warm water as she was washing dishes. When Dan had heard her offer, his eyebrows shot up. Not the Blair was a messy person, but she had enough staff working for her that she barely had to do more than move a dish from the table to the sink. "It was so nice of you to have me over."<p>

"Of course, Blair," Rufus said from his place at the table. He and Dan were currently in the middle of a very intense game of Gin Rummy. "You're always welcome for the holidays. I was thinking about going to Paris to see Jenny again but she'll be home for New Years, so I thought I'd stay home this year."

"How generous," Dan said, picking up from the pile. "Staying home to spend Christmas with your first born because you'll see your favorite child very shorty."

"Now, Dan, you know I don't have any favorites. However, I do have Gin," Rufus said, lying his hand down on the table and Blair laughed at how Dan's face scrunched up in anger. "Blair, just leave the dishes. We can deal you in."

"It's okay," she said, waving him off. "I'm not very good at Gin or cards of any kind really."

"She's more into Monopoly," Dan said as he shuffled the cards. "Somehow, she always convinces me to trade my best cards for her worst. She's very persuasive."

"You just are gullible," Blair countered. "Dan, you didn't tell me that Jenny would be home for New Year's? I feel rude not inviting her to my party."

"I don't think she'd want to go," Dan said, glancing over. "Not her scene anymore."

Blair shrugged, "Well, I hate that I didn't even give her the choice. It's not even going to be a big party."

"You said that last year and I entered to a room packed full of people, Blair," Dan said, his eyes focused on her. "I'm sure we'll see Jen during her visit. You can tell her all about how Chuck proposes to you this year."

Blair coughed and Rufus looked between them, "Am I missing something?"

"It's nothing, Dad. Just a tradition Blair has."

"Weird tradition," Rufus said, shrugging lightly before turning back to the game. "Well, I hope for Dan's sake, Blair, that you deny Chuck's proposal."

A couple of hours later, Blair and Dan were standing outside, shaking from the cold, and waiting for the taxi they called. "Why did you tell your dad about the whole Chuck thing?" she asked, digging her toe into the snow. "It's embarrassing."

"It's not a big deal," Dan argued. "It's just a thing you two do."

"We're not doing it this year," she told him, rubbing her hands together to try and stay warm. "I talked about it with him and we're calling it off."

"But it's tradition and you love traditions."

Blair raised her shoulders, "I think that just because it's tradition doesn't mean it's a good idea. I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea and I'd rather spend my midnight at your side than Chuck's."

Dan pulled her into him, kissing her forehead, "I think I like that idea much better anyways."

Blair nestled her head into his chest and dug her hands into his pockets, "Well, I do aim to please. God, can this cab take any longer?"

* * *

><p>Blair felt her shoulder being nudged the next morning and she fluttered her eyes open to see Dan's living room. She had fallen asleep, curled up next to Dan, as they watched It's a Wonderful Life. "Merry Christmas," she said, feeling slight butterflies in her stomach as she glanced toward the tree and saw her neatly wrapped present on the floor.<p>

"Merry Christmas, Blair," Dan mumbled into her hair as he kissed the top of her head. "Do you want to do presents now?"

"Can I brush my teeth?" she asked, standing up. "And then, let's do presents. I hate waiting any longer than ten minutes after the initial wake up. What time did Serena and Nate say to be over?"

"For Ava opening their presents? I think 10 AM."

"Let's make it 11. They went to that gala again last night like they did last year. It's practically a babysitting service. I mean, Ava is not even 2."

Dan laughed, standing to gather their two small piles in front of the couch. "Well, I'm sure they want the best babysitting service money can buy."

A few minutes later, Blair was sitting cross legged on the couch with a small pile in front of her and a small pile in front of Dan. They had both agreed that neither of them would go crazy this Christmas but she doubted that either of them stuck faithfully to that. "You first," Blair said, reaching over to his pile and grabbing one of the small gifts. They went back and forth opening gifts until there was just one left in front of Humphrey. She had carefully chosen which gifts he should open first and the sense of nerves was coming from the last sitting in front of him.

"I feel utterly inadequate that I have one more gift than you do," Dan said, rubbing his forehead. "I'll have to go out tomorrow and act like we celebrate Boxing Day."

"It's not anything big or really technically a present," Blair responded, fastening the bracelet that she had previously opened to her wrist. She was avoiding his eye contact so her nerves wouldn't give her away. "Just open it."

"Okay, okay," Dan said, ripping at the paper to see a real estate listing book in front of him. He held it up, furrowing his brow, "I don't mean to sound ungrateful, Blair, but what is this?"

"A real estate book, Humphrey," Blair said, before biting her tongue before she lashed out which she often did when this kind of nervous energy overtook her. "I mean," she said, crumpling up a piece of wrapping paper in her hands as a diversion, "I was just thinking-"

"Do you not like my apartment?" Dan asked, laughing slightly. "Is this a hint?"

"No. I love it. It's cozy but… I don't think it would fit both of us."

"Blair?"

"I don't know," she said, tossing the balled up paper to the side. She tried to think back on her conversation with Nate a couple of weeks ago and the subsequent follow up conversations where Nate tried to help her figure out just what she wanted to say. "I was just thinking that maybe sometime early next year we could… save money, together."

"I'm not sure I follow you," Dan said, flipping through the pages. "How is real estate saving money?"

Blair yanked the book from him and opened it to the inner cover, "Here, read it. I wrote it down."

It was a simple message really and since she knew she would crack under this pressure, she was glad that she had taken Nate's final piece of advice and written it down.

"Do you want to move in together?" Dan read from the cover.

"Yes, Humphrey, I do," Blair answered.

"I wasn't ask- oh, you're asking me."

"And making a terrible joke of it apparently," Blair said, sighing.

Dan laughed, "No, I'm just an idiot. I think sleeping on the couch must have messed with my mind this morning." He leaned over their separate pile of presents and kissed her, "I think living together would be a good idea. I do love my commute in the morning but I guess I could live with having to take a subway to my work like most New Yorkers."

Blair smiled, "We don't have to do it anytime soon. I was thinking after we hit one year of dating-"

"You know, things don't have to be perfect. We could do it before that magic one year mark."

"I know," Blair said, "but I want to give us time to find something we both love and given how picky I am, it will take me at least until March until that happens." She leaned in to give him a brief kiss, placing her hand on his neck. "You know you are handling it much better than I would have."

Dan laughed, "I thought we didn't joke about it."

"I can make the jokes," Blair told him with an authoritative nod. "And you can laugh at them. It will never go the other way around."

"Got it."

"Good," Blair said, pulling back. "I should shower."

Dan nodded, "Same. It's only 9 though so we have two hours before we have to be at Nate's." He stood and then leaned down, placing an arm behind Blair's back and one under her knees. "Come on, Blair, I think there is some mistletoe above my bed."

"How romantic, Humphrey," she said, laughing as she threw her head back and pressed the back of her hand to her forehead. "You owe me a present anyways," she told him. "You know, to even the numbers."

"I thought the real estate wasn't really a present," Dan said, carrying her off to his bedroom.

Blair shook her head, "I've changed my mind. It's definitely counting as a present."


	16. new year's eve - part two

Blair stood, wedged between two people that she didn't want to talk to, scanning the room for anyone that she did want to talk to. Right now, her choices were limited by the people that showed up at her party. Her small get together with friends had predictably turned into a packed room of people that she only half knew with the original people she invited somewhere in between. It was like playing Where's Waldo except for a red and white striped sweater, she was looking for sparkling dresses and suits.

"Excuse me," Blair said, trying to look apologetic at the two people that were trying to engage her in conversation but feeling anything but. Squeezing through the crowd, Blair cursed herself for putting that those invited could bring guests.

"Blair," she heard and swung around. Chuck Bass was standing there, hand-in-hand with his new model girlfriend, with a bottle of champagne in his hand. "Let's make a toast," he said, practically gleeful has he swung his bottle to hit Blair's glass. Blair watched in horror as the glass cracked from the impact of the full bottle. "Sorry," he said, chuckling, and she wanted to throw her shoe at him. She had politely invited him with the caveat of him not doing their proposal act wouldn't happen but didn't expect him to show, since he usually stepped in to the room half an hour before midnight. Instead, he had shown up promptly at 10 P.M. with his red headed girlfriend, who Blair thought was named Charlotte but couldn't be sure. "What a party, Blair. I was thinking you went soft when I got that invitation but it seems you still have your magic touch."

She rolled her eyes in response, grabbing the bottle from his hand and putting her lips to it. Tipping it back, she let the dry liquid run down her throat. "I would have figured you would have had somewhere better to be," she said as she handed the bottle back.

"What's better than here?" Chuck said, throwing his arms open and in the process hitting a couple of people around them. He was already drunk, she realized with a sigh. "With my two favorite girls in the city." He swung his arms around the red head and then Blair, squeezing them closer to him. Blair tried to awkwardly push herself away from the embrace before finally giving up and let herself be squeezed. "I wouldn't miss this party for the world, Blair," he said, pressing his lips to the top of her head before she squirmed out from his embrace.

Blair nodded, looking around and looking for an escape. "Well, okay, thanks?" she stepped backwards. "I'll see you two around, I'm sure. I'm going to go get a new glass and look for Dan… or Serena… or Nate…"

"Anyone but me," Chuck said, nodding his head like he knew where she was going with it.

Blair shook her head, "No, but… I've seen you, it's time to mingle. Anyways, see you around. Have fun. Be careful with the glasses."

Blair turned on her heel, taking a deep breath. She hadn't realized, until she ran into Chuck, how much she tied this holiday with him. He had proposed, for real, one year on it after all and while they made a joke of it during subsequent years, it still sent her into somewhat of a tailspin when she realized what could have been. They had been in love once, she reminded herself, and while it was sometimes sad to completely let go, she was extremely happy in the place she was at now.

"Hey you," Nate called from the corner of the room where he had his arm around Serena's shoulder. They were talking with Dan, Blair recognized the outfit she had helped guide him to choose, and Jenny, who after Dan's protests had actually wanted to attend. "We were just talking about you."

"Only good things, I'm sure," Blair said, smiling, as she leaned into Dan who let his hand rest on her back. "Like how I throw an amazing party even when I planned to have a little crowd."

"Good thing you bought enough alcohol for the entire city," Dan laughed. She twisted her knuckle into his side. "I'm joking, of course. Only the residents of Manhattan would have had enough to drink."

"There is no such thing as too much champagne," she protested and pouted her lips. Dan kissed her forehead. "Anyways, I just got pulled into somewhat of a conversation with Chuck and his new girlfriend. How long have they been together, Nate?"

Nate shrugged looking to Serena who answered for him, "I think since Thanksgiving. At least around then. He asked if he could bring her my mom's Christmas Eve dinner."

Blair pursed her lips, "That seems forward."

Serena tipped her head to the side, "Well, that's Chuck. My mom said he could but he didn't end up even coming to the night. He said something came up with business." Serena leaned on her toes, "Where is she anyways? I want to see what she looks like."

Blair turned, trying to spot them in the crowd and giving up. "She has red hair and she's tall."

"How descriptive," Serena laughed looking down and seeming surprised that her glass was empty. "I'm going to go find more of anything to drink." She pulled Nate with her, "We'll be back."

"Bring me some," Blair called after them. "And a new glass." Blair held up hers to Dan and Jenny, "Chuck broke mine." Jenny shot Dan a look that Blair couldn't decipher and she suddenly felt like the odd fish out with the two siblings looking at her. "He swung his bottle into my glass… never mind. How are you enjoying the party, Jenny?"

"It's a great reminder why I left New York," Jenny responded, lifting her glass slightly. Even though there was no inflection in Jenny's voice, Blair was still wounded by the words. Her face crumpled and Jenny, sensing the shift of mood, continued, "It's just a lot of chatter about nothing. People are talking but what are they saying?"

"Real deep, Jen," Dan laughed. His hand traced the cut out on the back of Blair's dress, "I think she's just trying to say she likes Europe more than the States. She's always complaining about the noise and how uncivil we all are."

Blair smiled, "Right. I loved Paris. My dad is over there. Well, not in Paris even though he does visit a lot. More in the country. Hey, you should go visit him any time you want to get out of the city."

Jenny nodded, looking noncommittal. "Yeah, sounds great. I think I actually saw Erik over there," she said, even though her back had been turned to the crowd. "I'll be back."

Blair watched her leave, turning and leaning her back against her wall. "She still hates me, doesn't she?"

"I think Jenny is a big proponent of forgive but don't forget," Dan said, shoving his hands in his pockets like he did most of the time when he got nervous. "It's not that she doesn't like you, it's more this whole scene. I tried to warn you."

"No, you said she wouldn't want to come."

"I was being gentle. It doesn't matter. She likes you just fine most of the time. I think it's seeing everyone else that reminds her of high school. I wouldn't worry about it."

"It's important to me that your family likes me," Blair pushed her back against the wall, digging her heels into the ground.

Dan put his hands on her arms and looked into her eyes, "They like you."

Blair shrugged, "Sorry, I think I'm just off right now. Seeing Chuck kind of threw me?" Open communication, her goal for the new year.

Dan nodded, "You see him all the time, don't you? I mean, the four of you and your non-judging whatever crowd get dinner together monthly?"

"Just in this setting," she tried to explain. "It's just a flash back. I shouldn't have invited him. Hey, what time is it?"

Dan looked down at his watch, "11:45."

"We need a bottle," Blair told him, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the kitchen. "It's not midnight unless we're toasting."

"I thought it was kissing."

Blair laughed, "Yeah but you toast before hand. Raise your glasses and say nice words about the host. Maybe you can tell everyone what a wonderful girlfriend I am."

"And how great she is in bed," Blair heard Chuck's familiar voice coming from the left of her and she stopped. "That's what I used to say every year."

"Nice to see you, Chuck," Dan said, his voice calm. "I think if I'm making a toast, I might leave that part out though."

"Suit yourself, Humphrey."

Blair opened her mouth to say something before shutting it again. It was wiser not to engage with him. She turned again, wordless, and started to pull Dan through the crowd, "Ignore him. He never used to say that."

"I'm sure because on New Year's, you only tell the truth and that would have been a lie," Dan laughed behind her.

"That's a quote from Love Actually and you butchered it. Especially since it's about Christmas."

"Is that really the important part?"

"No, but I'm choosing to not acknowledge you being vulgar," Blair said, swinging around once they got to her kitchen. She leaned into him and gave him a swift kiss on his lips, "Plus, you know that that was a lie. Your nose is growing."

"Is it?" he asked, putting his free hand on his nose. "I always wanted a bigger nose, so lucky me."

"You know, I always pray before bed to give me a boyfriend with a slightly bigger nose and slightly smaller hair."

"Ouch," Dan responded, before letting go of her hand and opening the fridge. "Bad news, Blair. There are not bottles in here."

"I bought out practically an entire liquor store. You can not tell me I'm out of Champagne."

"I'm kidding," Dan said, pulling a bottle out. "I can't believe you bought it."

"Ha ha," she rolled her eyes, "Very funny, Humphrey."

"You don't really want me to make a speech, do you?" he asked, his eyes widening.

"No," she shook her head. "I'll make it. I was just trying to get you nervous."

* * *

><p>Blair raised her glass up, Dan was standing behind her with his hands squeezing her shoulders. "It's almost midnight and I won't keep you long but I just wanted to say-"<p>

Chuck interrupted her in a booming voice from across the room, "It's bad luck for all of us if the hostess makes a speech at her own party so I will do the honors."

"Chuck," Nate was standing next to him and looked horrified at the prospects. "I don't think that's a-"

"Good idea? You're right, it's a great idea. I would like to thank Blair, for lending out her apartment for the evening. She is such a lovely host, trying to dodge all the people that she didn't invite." There were slight murmurs in the room and Blair could feel her face turning red. "And not to mention the fact that she wanted to end a tradition. I couldn't let that happen, I know how much Blair loves traditions."

Dan's hands were squeezing Blair's shoulders slightly tighter as they both glared in Chuck's direction. Nate was trying to whisper to Chuck but Chuck was waving him off. "What a great speech," Blair said, trying to cut it short.

"I'm not done," Chuck said, his voice getting rough. "I always propose on New Year's ever since I did so with Blair and she rejected me. I know, people who only were invited last year are thinking that was one time. No, I proposed a few years ago and Blair thought it would be great fun to make it some running gag of her party."

Dan stepped from behind Blair and she pulled him back. "Don't," she said, her voice low. "It's not worth it."

"So I would like to propose another proposal, keeping with tradition, to my girlfriend, Christine," he said, theatrically getting down on one knee and taking out a ring. "Christine, will you be my wife?"

Blair turned away, not bothering to watch her say yes. "What time is it?" she asked, Dan looking from the scene on the other side to her, baffled. "Dan, what time is it?"

"Blair," Dan started before seeing that she was staring at his watch. "A few seconds to midnight."

"Good, so we didn't miss it," she said, looking at his watch before starting a countdown that the rest of the room joined in on.

In truth, Blair flashed through all the ways she could have reacted to that situations very fast in her head. When she saw Chuck on his knee, she felt rage and loss and relief all at the same time. In some way, she was offended that Chuck would take that day from them as an entity and wanted to make a scene about it. In other ways, she felt that truly they were over. In another way, she was relieved. That part of her life, although she had closed the book awhile ago, was finally sealed. Chuck could get married to who he wanted and whoever pleased him, and Blair was happy for him. It was this feeling that she chose to embrace.

So when midnight struck and she pulled Dan into her for the midnight kiss that she didn't receive the year before, she felt exuberant.

* * *

><p>Blair rolled over, her hand going for the glass of water her drunk self had thoughtfully placed next to her bed the night before. "I'm in so much pain," she moaned, hitting Dan's chest with her other hand.<p>

"Don't make my pain worse," Dan complained, rolling on his side. "My head is pounding."

"You drank less than I did," she countered finally finding the glass and her phone on her table. "I saw you starting to pretend to sip your champagne."

Dan laughed, "Okay, fine. You are probably worse than I am."

Blair smirked, "Thank you." She glanced at her phone to see a couple of text message from friends and one from Chuck. She quickly scrolled through the message, absorbing every third word or so with her headache.

"What are you reading?" Dan asked, squinting at her.

She put the phone to the side, "Nothing important. Chuck texted me some time this morning apologizing for last night." She rolled on her back and closed her eyes.

"You know, I have to say, I was very impressed that you didn't make a scene."

"Me? Make a scene? How dare you?" She laughed, "Ow, laughing hurts."

"I know, what a crazy thought."

"I thought about it," she said, biting her lip. "But what's the worth of it? I don't care that he's engaged. Good for him," she said, pressing her palm against her forehead. "I'm kind of upset that he did it on that night and in front of me, but he can be tacky and bitter and immature… it doesn't affect me anymore," she said, opening her eyes and looking at Dan who was smiling. "What?"

Dan shook his head, "Nothing."

"No, what?"

"I'm just thinking about last year and telling you that we would see what the new year would bring."

Blair smiled, "I think it was a very good year for us."

"Dare I say it again?"

"I think you should. It can be a tradition."

"Let's see what the new year brings, Blair Waldorf."

"Here's to topping last year," Blair said, leaning her forehead against his chest and closing her eyes. "But let's start trying to top it tomorrow."

"Good plan."


	17. apartment shopping

"I like this one," Dan said, his voice low so only Blair could hear him. She turned her head and glared at him, and he gave her a shrug. "Okay, I don't like this one?" He glanced at their real estate agent, a friend of Blair's step father, who was busy trying to show them all the perks the apartment had. Blair, like she had in the last seven apartments they had been shown over the past couple of weeks, looked unimpressed and disinterested.

"The light is not good at all," Blair said, loudly, and the real estate agent showing them around looked back, her face crest fallen. Blair felt a ping of guilt for being so picky but if she was going to buy something, she wanted it to be perfect. It had to beat her apartment that she already lived in, and that was hard to do. "The ceilings are too low, I can already hear the upstairs neighbor so it's not sound proofed, and it's too far from Dan's work," she continued.

"I don't mind the walk," Dan started, and Blair shot him a look. They were in this together and if she didn't like something, he was supposed to go along with it. Dan, unlike Blair, had found a positive in all the apartments. She reasoned with herself it's because he wasn't used to living in luxury. She wasn't going to settle. "I mean, I guess it is a little far."

"Right, well, do you want to see the rest of the rooms?" the woman asked, her eyebrows raised. "At least you can see the master?"

"I'll find it myself, Carlene," Blair said impatiently as she marched on by the real estate agent. It was their third weekend in a row looking and Blair was positive that nothing in the city would match up to what she wanted. Part of it was money. Dan wanted to contribute to the cost, which was fine as they were going to live together, but his income didn't exactly match hers. She was willing to pay on a sliding scale, where she contributed more as she was worth more, but it had hurt his pride when she suggested it. So now, not only was she downsizing, but she had to budge on location too. "Come on, Dan."

Dan quickly followed step as Blair found her way around, leaving the real estate agent standing in the foyer. "Blair, don't you want to actually look at the rooms before you cast this off as a potential home?"

"Not really," she said, opening a door to a bathroom. "I know what's right for me."

"You know, you might find something that you think is perfect for you and cast off a perfectly good apartment just to come back to it years later."

Blair turned and laughed, "Are you trying to compare yourself to a shabby apartment, Humphrey? You had much more potential as Lonely Boy from Brooklyn than this apartment ever will. I just want it to be perfect."

"I don't think anything in this city is going to be up to your standards then."

Blair shook her head, "Maybe not this weekend, but there will be eventually. You'll see." She opened a door at the end of the hallway which lead to the master bedroom. The apartment had been set up to show so it was complete with furniture and Blair scoffed at the rented furniture, "This room isn't half bad but the bed they chose? A disaster. You see how it cuts off the room and it's completely in the wrong spot."

"You know this isn't actually the bed we would use. And we could have it in a different spot."

"Dan, do you really love this apartment?" Blair whipped her head around and narrowed her eyes. "Like, do you think that this apartment is the one?"

Dan shrugged, "I don't know, Blair. I like it just fine."

"That's not enough," she protested. "This is our first home, Dan. We can't just move into something that you like 'just fine' and I despise. It's not about the rented furniture or about the lighting, it's about the feeling. I bet that the last couple who lived here married young and got divorce, that's not good for our future."

"I don't think that's true," Dan argued. "I think you're just projecting."

"I'm not," Blair said looking smug. "I looked up the sellers. They got divorced and married young."

"You cheated," he said, his shoulders slightly bobbing from laughter. "You googled the sellers?"

Blair tried to look innocent, "I might have accidentally typed their name into Google."

"Blair, have you been doing that to every single apartment?"

"It's important, Dan! Wouldn't you want to know if someone was murdered here and it was haunted or if there was a robbery. The history of the apartment is just as important as the insides. And anyways, I still think that the lighting is wrong and that the bedroom, while a decent size, could never do."

Dan rubbed his eyes, "Can we please go into the next place blind? Can you go without looking up the seller and go without a history?"

Blair shook her head, "No. I can't. I need to know. I don't want our place to be haunted by a bad relationship."

He stepped towards her, placing his hands on her shoulders, "Just because two people lived in the same place as we did, doesn't mean our relationship will fall in line with the ways theirs did. And if you are that worried, why don't you just tell Carlene so she can stop showing us apartments that have a bad history. I think you are driving her to early retirement."

Considering that idea, Blair bit on her bottom lip. "Fine," she agreed. "I'll put it on the list of my demands. I think as a real estate agent, she should be one step ahead of me anyways."

"She's a real estate agent, Blair, not a psychic."

"She should be both."

* * *

><p>Blair settled on Dan's couch, stretching her legs over his. "What are you writing," Blair asked, noticing that Dan's normal novel had been replaced by a notebook.<p>

Dan shrugged, "Just scribbling really."

"Humphrey, are you writing again?" she asked, leaning her torso over to try and glance at his notebook. "And with pen and paper? How retro."

"Just ideas. I don't think anything will come of it."

She smirked, settling back into a comfortable position, "I'm such a good muse."

"Who said it was about you?"

"What else would it be about?" she countered, raising her eyebrows. Across the room, she could see her phone light up. It was their deal that when they were spending an evening together, one that they agreed was a date night and not just hanging out, the first to look at their phones would have to pay for dinner or drinks or whatever they decided on. And tonight was a date night. She glanced at Dan who looked back, challenging her to lose. So far, she had lost every single challenge. Blair settled into the couch, counting to ten and trying to distract herself from getting her phone.

The phone stopped ringing and Blair breathed easier. When her's stopped, however, Dan's started.

"Are you going to get that?" Blair asked, digging her toe into his thigh. "I bet it's important. Maybe the bookstore is burning."

"I think we would feel the flames," Dan said, looking towards where the ringing was coming from. "But, maybe, just this once I'll let you win." He stood up, Blair's legs falling off of his, and crossed the room to grab his phone. "Hello?"

Blair lifted her arms, "I'm the winner. I have won. I have defeated Dan Humphrey. Write this in your book."

Dan looked at her, rolling his eyes, before focusing back on the conversation. "Right, well… I'll tell her." Blair's eyebrows raised at the word her. Dan hung up after that, turning back to her, "It was Carlene. She said she found the perfect place with a perfectly happy couple that is selling it."

Blair pulled her knees to her chest, "Where is it?"

Dan grinned at her, "You'll never guess."

She threw a pillow at him, "Where?"

"Brooklyn"


	18. the brooklyn apartment

"I have bad news," Blair said, her finger mindlessly tracing the rim of her coffee mug, her eyes darting across the cafe as she tried to figure out if she recognized anyone. She wasn't prepared for the news of her imminent move to Brooklyn to be broadcasted yet.

"Are you okay?" Serena asked, reaching over the table for Blair's hand.

Nate looked at Serena and back at Blair, "I'm sure you guys will get back together, Blair. I'm sure whatever you did, Dan will forgive you."

Blair looked at Serena and then Nate and then back at Serena. "What?"

"You and Dan?" Serena asked, taking her hand back and looking quizzically at Nate. "You broke up? You called us for an emergency meeting and we just assumed that you two…" Blair was shaking her head violently and Serena trailed off.

Nate nodded, "So you're still together?"

"Yes, we are still together. Honestly, though, I'm offended you just assumed that it was my fault had this phantom break up occurred. Why would it automatically be something I did?"

Nate held up his hand and started counting off reasons, "Well, you ran away from him when he said he loved you. You broke up with him when he gave you a key to his apartment."

"We just thought," Serena said, hitting Nate gently in the side, "that since you asked Dan to move in together that you were going to eventually, maybe, do something you would regret."

Blair scrunched up her face in spite, "That's real nice, guys."

Nate and Serena shrugged their shoulders in perfect unison and Blair wondered how long they sat at home and practiced that move. "We were just worried that you were on the verge of doing something before thinking," Nate continued his wife's thought.

"Do you both just think for each other?" Blair asked, building up a defense. "There's no I thought, it's just we thought."

"Well, we discussed this before you got here," Serena said, lifting her mug to her lips and taking a sip. "And don't you know that when you get married, you can only have one brain?"

"We chose to keep Serena's," Nate smirked. "She was always the smarter of the two of us."

"You're too sweet," Serena said, turning her head to give Nate a quick peck.

Blair scoffed, "Stop. This is about me and my crisis."

"If you didn't break up with Dan, and it doesn't look like you are dying… how big of a crisis could it be, Blair?" Serena asked.

"I'm moving to Brooklyn."

* * *

><p>It had taken some convincing for Blair to agree to even look at the apartment. Dan had, at first, laughed for at least five minutes thinking about Blair living in Brooklyn but when he had been sent pictures of the apartment, he had to agree with the real estate agent that, at least by looking at it, it was perfect. Blair had been astonished that she had forgotten location on her list of demands. She had remembered number of bedrooms, no carpet, the floor she would want to live in but she had forgotten to cross off locations outside of Manhattan, and now she was paying the price.<p>

Dan tried to trick her into looking at the pictures, knowing that it was a time sensitive deal and if they didn't look and decide fast that someone else would swoop up their perfect apartment. Blair held steady for a couple of days until she finally caved when Dan started to pout when he was around her. She knew it was an act, he would get over it if they didn't live there, but she decided that maybe it wouldn't be so bad to just look at the apartment. If she looked then she could compile a list of reasons why they shouldn't live there.

It wouldn't be the sellers though.

The sellers were a couple who had been married for 50 years and were finally making a permanent move to better weather and lower cost of living.

It wouldn't be the price.

For the location, the size and the amenities, the price was absurdly low. The real estate agent had told Dan and Blair that the sellers had a similar list of what they wanted in a buyer and for the right buyer, they were willing to make the apartment a steal. After all, they had no children of their own and when they eventually passed, the money they would make from the sale would be no good to them.

It wouldn't be the apartment.

Blair swore when she walked around the apartment. With every new room came a new choice profane word. Fuck. Shit. Damn. She knew she was getting sucked in when she walked into the renovated bathroom and she could picture herself getting ready there. She knew she was in over her head when she walked into the bedroom, which had great natural light, and she could picture where the bed would go and the closet that she would take. Blair knew she was in love when she walked out on the balcony and saw the skyline of Manhattan.

It was, as the real estate agent kept repeating, perfect.

"But it's in Brooklyn," Blair said, resting her back on the wall when the real estate agent walked out of the apartment to give them time to think. "I don't think I can live in Brooklyn."

Dan nodded but she could see the frustration running through him as he balled his hands into little fists. "So, we will find somewhere else, I guess."

"You really love it," Blair stated. In all of her thoughts about buying an apartment with Dan, she never thought that she would be the one needing convincing. She thought they would find something just out of their price range, at least Dan's set price range, and she would have to spend her precious time bargaining with him that it was worth it. Reality was that she was the one with her heels in the ground, stubborn because of the fact it was in Brooklyn.

"I do," he nodded, looking out the window. "But if you don't, then it's not worth me trying to convince you. I know you, Blair, you're stubborn. If your mind is made up, then it's not worth me trying to convince you that Brooklyn is just of a nice place to live than Manhattan."

Blair bit the inside of her cheek, trying to sort out her thoughts. If she didn't love the apartment, it would be easier. It was just that one tiny detail that was keeping her from jumping up and down with joy that their search was over.

"What are the odds that we find something like this in Manhattan?" Dan asked, turning his head to look at her. So he was going to put up a fight, Blair thought. "You had no complaints about anything on the walk through, Blair. You even have complaints about your own apartment."

"Brooklyn," she repeated as though it explained everything.

Dan sighed, "Okay. Let's call Carlene back in here and let her know that it's not for us." Dan started to walk towards the door before Blair grabbed his arm. "What?"

Blair took a deep breath, "Do you think I would need to buy an entire new wardrobe to live in Brooklyn?"

"What are you saying?" he asked, searching her face and trying to figure out if she was joking.

"And do you think my furniture that I already have is going to go with the apartment or will we need to get new things?"

"Are you serious?"

"Dan, it's perfect," she said after a pause. "We won't find anything in Manhattan that is this perfect in the price range you've created."

"So…"

"So, let's do it. Let's put in an offer."

Dan put his hands on each side of her face and kissed her, "You know I love you."

"I know," she smiled slightly, tapping his nose with her index finger. "Maybe they won't accept our bid," she said, her voice slightly hopeful as they crossed the room hand in hand to tell Carlene they wanted to buy it.

* * *

><p>"Brooklyn?" Serena and Nate shared a glance before bursting out into laughter.<p>

Blair furrowed her brow, "Stop laughing. It's not funny."

Nate put his hand over his stomach and tried to take a breath, "Sorry, Blair, but you in Brooklyn?"

"It's not that we find it funny," Serena tried to explain, "actually, no, that's it. You've been complaining about Brooklyn's existence since I've known you."

"Well, it's reputation has certainly improved since I was younger and the apartment is beautiful," Blair rambled, looking between the married couple and trying to figure out which one to murder first. She needed their support, since ever since she signed the papers she had been having regrets, and they just kept laughing. "You two need to stop laughing or Ava will end up with no parents."

Nate stopped first, looking at Serena who still struggled to get it together. "Are you serious? Like actually serious, Blair?"

"Yes."

"Well, then," Nate started, looking to Serena to try and fill in for him but she shrugged in return. "I don't think I'd ever see the day. Blair in Brooklyn."

"I don't think it's that hard to think about," Blair said defensively. "It's a beautiful apartment and if things don't work out, I'm keeping my Upper East Side apartment."

Serena narrowed her eyes, "Why would you do that?"

"Just in case," Blair said trying to sound nonchalantly. "Oh come on. You both assumed we broke up just five minutes ago. You know I'm not the best in stable relationships. I would like to have a fall back plan."

"We also assumed that you would get back together with Dan," Nate argued. "Why don't you just rent your apartment?"

"I'm thinking about it but you know I would be a very picky landlord. I don't think anyone would be up to my standards."

"We didn't think any apartment would be up to your standards," Serena started.

"Or any boyfriend," Nate continued, "and look at you checking off both boxes."

Blair crossed her arms, "You know you guys are being zero percent helpful with my crisis."

"It doesn't sound like a crisis, B," Serena smiled, picking up her coffee mug.

"I think the only crisis is that you're going to have to take the L."

"I would never step foot in public transit, Archibald," Blair scoffed, taking a sip of her coffee. "But I'm sure you guys can tell me how it is when you visit."

* * *

><p>"How'd they take it?" Dan asked from behind the counter as Blair walked into the bookstore.<p>

Blair rolled her eyes as she walked over, "They laughed. I'm not sure even now if they think I'm being serious."

"Well, I laughed when I heard perfect apartment for Blair Waldorf in Brooklyn."

"Maybe if I hate it, we can have a long distance relationship."

"Where are you moving?" he asked, raising his eyebrows, and leaning forward, resting his elbows on the counter.

"Back to my apartment."

Dan laughed, "I don't think living in different boroughs count as a long distance relationship."

"It counts for me," Blair responded. "You should close early. We're supposed to get snow soon so no one is going to come in."

"And do what?"

"I want to go take measurements of our place."

'I like the sound of that."

"What? Measurements? Do you want me to say it slower?" she joked before elongating the word again, "Meaassureeements."

"Yes, that word. It's my favorite word in the Dictionary."

"What a boring favorite," she teased. "Thank God you have better taste in women than you do in words."

"Yes, thank the Lord that I have taste when it counts." Dan stepped out from behind the counter and wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her cheeks. "Our place."

"Oh right, those words," Blair said, walking and slightly dragging him to the door to the stairs leading upstairs. "I guess it has a ring to it."

"You know what else has a ring to it?" Dan said, his lips against her ear. "Brooklyn."


	19. the house warming

"Blair," Dan said, leaning in his chair on their balcony, watching the sun set over the city, "you realize we moved in here in April and it's now May. Why are we having a housewarming party again?"

Blair turned her head in her chair, "Because it's finally furnished and finished and I want to enjoy our domestic bliss by throwing a party."

"Domestic bliss?" Dan said, raising his eyebrows at her. "We've barely gone through a day without fighting about something."

"That's because your toothbrush continues to find it's way into my toothbrush's place. And that's not even to mention your habit of basically walking your shoes off and I trip over them almost every night when I'm getting water for bed." Blair rolled her eyes, looking back at the skyline, "They aren't fights, just little disagreements." Blair slid her sunglasses from her head to her face and reveled in their view.

Despite a few issues with the move, like the fact Blair had to be carried out of her apartment kicking and screaming, their stay so far in their new place had gone very well. Too well, Blair tried to tell herself before shaking off the thought. She had to recondition herself, her new therapist told her, to stop thinking about what the worst that could happen was but to start thinking about her goals and what she wanted and helping herself to get there. Right now, she wanted to revel in her happiness and in her joy and her healthy relationship.

Blair looked back to Dan who was smirking at her, "What?"

"I'm just not over the sight of Blair Waldorf being happy about living in Brooklyn."

"Well, it's no UES but it will do for now," Blair said with little conviction in her voice. In truth, she enjoyed barely running into her peers and not having to duck behind racks of clothes when she was shopping. There were enough restaurants to discover and bars to drink in that Blair was enjoying Brooklyn much more than she would have ever guessed. "Back to the party though," Blair said, reaching below her chair to her notebook and pen, "I need the names you want to be invited."

"Who do you have so far?" Dan said, leaning over in his chair and stretching his neck to try and see her paper.

Blair read off the list, "My mom and Cyrus, my dad and Roman, Serena and Nate, your dad, Lilly, Eric, Jenny…"

"That's it?"

Blair nodded, chewing on the top of her pen. "I don't want to pad it with people who we don't really care about."

"Well, can you add Trish on there?"

"Your employee?" Blair asked, turning her head and raising her eyebrows.

Dan shrugged, "My friend. She's done a lot for the store and I would like her to come."

"Okay," Blair nodded as she wrote down the girl's name. "Do you want to give her a plus 1?"

"I guess," Dan said, covering his eyes by pressing his hand to his forehead. "Are you not inviting Chuck?"

Blair shook her head, "I only want people who we care about."

"You guys are friends, I don't mind."

"No," Blair said more firmly. "I don't want him there. We haven't talked that much since that whole fiasco at New Year's, as you know, and it seems silly to invite him here to celebrate when I'm going to be in fear of what he will do to ruin it. This isn't about the past," she said, looking at him and tapping his shoulder with her pen, "it's about our present and future."

"Well then," Dan leaned over, kissing her forehead, "I think the list is complete."

Blair looked at it again, "Is this all the people we care about? It seems quite a small list."

"Well you said you didn't want to pad it," Dan said, standing from his chair and giving her his hand to help her up. "I think if you wanted to, you could fill every room with people we know and are somewhat friends with. I think it will be a good night if we keep it small and intimate."

"A dinner party!" Blair practically squealed, sliding the door open to their apartment. "I love dinner parties."

* * *

><p>"Hey, can I talk to you?" Dan asked, sliding his hand under Blair's elbow.<p>

Blair looked from Rufus and Jenny, who had seemingly warmed up to Blair ever since New Year's and was back in town for the party, to Dan. "Excuse me," she smiled apologetically at the father and daughter pair and let herself be led by Dan out to the balcony. It was a warm mid-May night and Blair couldn't have planned the weather better herself. She was practically beaming as she leaned against the wall of the balcony, her elbows resting comfortably on the top of the wall. "It's going well in there," she said, sliding her hands down Dan's arms. "Are you having fun?"

"Yeah, of course," Dan said, fidgeting on his feet. "I think keeping the numbers low was a good idea."

"Of course it was," Blair said, turning her back on him and looking out on the city. "It was my idea and all of my ideas are great. It was, after all, my idea to move and to move to this apartment."

Dan laughed behind her, "You are not seriously taking credit for this apartment."

"Why shouldn't I?" Blair said, turning around again and crossing her arms. "I'm the one who suggested we move in together and I knew it was perfect when we walked in to it."

"But it's in Brooklyn," Dan playfully mocked her.

She reached out and hit him lightly on the arm, "I don't sound like that, Humphrey."

"I'll record you next time you say Brooklyn. You sound in pain even now, months later, admitting you live here," Dan said, leaning on his toes with his hands in his pockets.

Blair shook her head, "I do not, Dan. Brooklyn."

"See, there it was. A slight whine right between the Brook and the lyn."

Blair, in a very mature fashion, stuck her tongue out at him. "Anyways, what did you want to talk about? If it's the disaster of the first course, believe me, I know. I don't know what the chef was thinking serving the shrimp like that."

Dan shook his head, "It's not about the first course, Blair."

"Okay," Blair continued, oblivious to Dan's shuffling around, "then is it about how awkward Rufus and Lilly are being? I swear they are dating behind your back. I know you are going to deny it but there's a certain something there. Maybe they want their relationship to be low key since it seemingly blows up in their faces any time they get together."

Dan shook his head again, "It's not about that and believe me, my dad is not dating Lilly Van Der Woodsen. He said he is over the Upper East Side glow."

"But you're not," Blair teased, stepping towards him. "I still have that glow, right?"

"No one would mistake you for being native to Brooklyn," he assured her. "It's just-"

"Shit," Blair said, looking over his shoulder. "I think Nate is getting out the champagne which is supposed to be for when we are having dessert. I should get back in there." Dan started to laugh and once he started, he couldn't stop. Blair tore her eyes away from the inside, where Nate was indeed popping a bottle of champagne and pouring it for everyone, and stared at Dan. "What? What are you laughing about? What is so funny? It's good champagne."

Dan tried to catch his breath, falling into a fit of giggles every few seconds. "Sorry, it's not really funny."

"It sounds funny."

"It's just… Blair, I'm trying to propose and you're focused on the shrimp and my dad's relationship and champagne."

Blair narrowed her eyes, "You are what?"

Dan took his hand out of his pocket to reveal a ring, "I'm trying to propose."

"Don't fuck with me," Blair warned, taking a step towards him and her hand instinctively reaching out for the ring.

"I'm not," he assured her. "I was going to kneel but I think I've already blown it."

"You haven't," she said, softly stepping towards him again, taking his free hand in hers. "You aren't."

"Okay," Dan said and took a deep breath. "Should I kneel?"

"It doesn't matter," Blair said, shaking her head slightly but keeping her eyes locked on his. "Can you ask so I can say yes?"

"So you're going to say yes?" he smiled.

"Dan," she said, squeezing his hand.

"Ouch," he pulled his hand away. "Okay, okay." He took another deep breath, looking down at the ground and deciding against kneeling. "Blair, I had this big speech in my head planned about how happy you make me and how incredibly in love I am with you but I think I've lost all the words. I just, I know that you make me happy and I think, at least I hope, that I make you happy too and I want to continue to do that for the rest of our lives. I'm sure you, in all your stubbornness, will out live me by at least ten years so at least for the rest of my life. So, will you grant me all the happiness I can imagine and let me marry you?"

"Yes!" Blair squealed, letting Dan slide the ring on to her hand and beaming down at the diamond. She slipped her newly jeweled up hand behind his neck and pulled him to her and kissed him. "Of course I'll marry you, Dan."

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go kill Nate for almost ruining the surprise." Dan kissed her briefly before taking her hand and letting her lead them back into a room filled with their best friends and family.

Blair lifted up their hands as she walked in, "I'm engaged!"


End file.
